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The Assumptions Bartenders Make About You Based Off Your Drink Order

Stella: You are foreign.. or are trying to appear to be.

Heineken: You are black.. or are trying to appear to be.

Malibu & Coke: You vomit easily.

Vodka Cran: You don't know what you want in life, or at this bar.

Patron: Danger. I am adding gratuity to your check.

Margarita: Anyone who drinks sour mix from a spray gun is an amateur, or underage.

Gin & Tonic: $$$

Vodka & Tonic: We could be friends.

Long Island Ice Tea: You just broke up with your boyfriend and have chosen tonight as the night you will "move on".

Foreign Beer: You are on a 2nd or 3rd date, trying to impress the girl with your cultured taste for Turkish pilsner.

Cosmo: For the love of God, hurry up and finish the 6th season of Sex & The City.

Red Bull & Vodka: You are a butthole.

Pinot Grigio: You are approaching menopause faster than you think.

Pinot Noir: You don't really go to bars.

Moscato: You listen to too much rap.

Gran Marnier: What are you doing here?

Scotch: You will probably tip me well and tell me I remind you of your daughter after you check out my bum.

Vodka Martini: You had a serious day at work, or you are a functional alcoholic.

Whiskey: You are cool. If you try to get my number I won't act too offended.

Bud Light: You are driving.

Budweiser: You are driving drunk.

May

Mostly Cloudy
70.0°/21.1°

Traffic

Radar

Forecast

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXPRESS LANES INBOUND Jam Factor 7 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Express Lanes Inbound from I-94 Edens Exwy to Ohio St/Ontario St Feeder

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 7 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from I-55 Stevenson Exwy to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 6 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway NORTHBOUND from I-55 Stevenson Exwy to I-90 Jane Addams Tollway

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 6 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy INBOUND from I-94 Edens Exwy to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy INBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-290 EISENHOWER EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-290 Eisenhower Exwy INBOUND from Wolf Rd (#16) to I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy/Dan Ryan Exwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 4 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 4 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy INBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to I-94 Edens Exwy

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 4 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway OUTBOUND from Boone/Mchenry County Line to I-39 (NP)

		I-80 WESTBOUND Jam Factor 4 - Incidents 0 () I-80 WESTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway (#155) to US-45 La Grange Rd (#145)

		I-80 EASTBOUND Jam Factor 4 - Incidents 0 () I-80 EASTBOUND from US-45 La Grange Rd (#145) to I-294 Tri-State Tollway (#155)

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy OUTBOUND from I-94 Edens Exwy to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-290 EISENHOWER EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-290 Eisenhower Exwy INBOUND from IL-53 to Congress Pkwy

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway NORTHBOUND from I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy/Kingery Exwy to Wisconsin State Line

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90 Chicago Skyway to I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy

		I-94 INBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-94 INBOUND from I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy/Kingery Exwy to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-94 BISHOP FORD FRWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy OUTBOUND from I-57/Dan Ryan Exwy to I-80/I-294/IL-394 Kingery Exwy/Tri-State Tollway

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXPRESS LANES OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Express Lanes Outbound from Ohio St/Ontario St Feeder to I-94 Edens Exwy

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway OUTBOUND from IL-31 to Mchenry/Boone County Line

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway INBOUND from Mchenry/Boone County Line to IL-31

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy INBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to US-41 Lake Shore Dr

		I-190 O'HARE ACCESS EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-190 O'Hare Access Exwy INBOUND from O'Hare Airport to I-90 Kennedy Exwy

		I-94 BISHOP FORD FRWY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy INBOUND from I-80/I-294/IL-394 Kingery Exwy/Tri-State Tollway to I-57/Dan Ryan Exwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy to I-90 Chicago Skyway

		ELGIN-O'HARE EXWY EASTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) Elgin-O'Hare Exwy EASTBOUND from Lake St to Rohlwing Rd

		I-94 EDENS EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-94 Edens Exwy OUTBOUND from I-94 Edens Exwy to I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-94 Edens Exwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-55 Stevenson Exwy

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway OUTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to Mchenry/Boone County Line

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway INBOUND from Mchenry/Boone County Line to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway INBOUND from I-39 (NP) to Boone/Mchenry County Line

		I-90 CHICAGO SKYWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Chicago Skyway INBOUND from Illinois State Line to I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy

		I-80/I-94 KINGERY EXWY EASTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-80/I-94 Kingery Exwy EASTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway/I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy/IL-394 to Illinois State Line

		I-80/I-94 BORMAN EXWY WESTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-80/I-94 Borman Exwy WESTBOUND from I-65 (#12) to Illinois State Line

		I-80/I-94 BORMAN EXWY EASTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-80/I-94 Borman Exwy EASTBOUND from Illinois State Line to I-65 (#12)

		I-57 NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-57 NORTHBOUND from Kankakee/Will County Line to I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy OUTBOUND from US-41 Lake Shore Dr to I-80 (#250)

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy OUTBOUND from US-41 Lake Shore Dr to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy OUTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to I-355 North-South Tollway

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy INBOUND from I-80 (#250) to US-41 Lake Shore Dr

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy INBOUND from I-355 North-South Tollway to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-355 NORTH-SOUTH TOLLWAY NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-355 North-South Tollway NORTHBOUND from Exit to I-88 Reagan Tollway (Southwestside) to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-290 EISENHOWER EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-290 Eisenhower Exwy INBOUND from I-355 North-South Tollway (#7) to Wolf Rd (#16)

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 2 (Moderate) I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from Wisconsin State Line to I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy/Kingery Exwy

		I-355 NORTH-SOUTH TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 2 (Moderate) I-355 North-South Tollway SOUTHBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-80

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Severe) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from Local/Express Split-Merge (South) to Local/Express Split-Merge (North)

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from Wisconsin State Line to IL-60/Townline Rd

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from I-55 Stevenson Exwy to I-80

Today	Hi: 71 Lo: 62	Thunderstorms
Thursday	Hi: 55 Lo: 52	Thunderstorms Likely
Friday	Hi: 59 Lo: 46	Chance Showers
Saturday	Hi: 61 Lo: 46	Chance Showers
Sunday	Hi: 64 Lo: 51	Breezy