Morning Show Archives:
9 Ways to Scare a Guy from yourtango.com (8/11)
What you are doing could be chasing men away.
As a man, I have, on several occasions, been freaked out by one or more of these things.
- Talking about having or naming babies.
Unless you are pregnant or are currently in possession of an unnamed baby there should be no reason to be playing "if we had a baby what would we name it?" game.
Second, the concept of a baby is scary to a man because it means they are essentially tied to you forever.
If the a guy has not thought about the possibility of being with you forever, which develops over time, then, anything baby-related is scary.
- Talking about marriage and the future too often.
It's not that men don't want to get married and have a fruitful future, but it's generally not at forefront of of their thinking until much later on in their lives.
Some women have been thinking about it since they were in diapers and have their marriage pre-planned out to the very last detail.
When they see a guy, they are thinking of how good of a long-term partner he can be and how he looks in this pre-planned, future life they spent years designing.
Men are usually thinking of establishing whether or not the women is a psycho or not in the short term. Besides, how one have such a precise plan for something that hasn't happened yet?
- "Ladies Night."
When the words "LADIES NIGHT" are mentioned it has an ominous ring to it.
In a man's mind, it means there is an issue in your relationship and the case is being submitted to a jury of her peers.
Any of her friends that don't like you will now have the chance it plant an incendiary device with your name on it in her head.
"Ladies Nights" can be especially ominous if a girl doesn't do them often, then after some kind of recent conflict or slump she suddenly goes on one.
"Ladies Nights" can often be the precursor to impending doom so avoiding the specific phrase "Ladies Night" is a good idea.
Otherwise there is nothing wrong ladies with chilling with their lady friends.
In fact, it should be encouraged, because women are willing to discuss so many things men really don't care to talk about.
- The phrase "We need to talk"
Rarely is this phrase used and resulted in a casual conversation with no long-term implications.
Maybe is has but in a man's mind it's going to result in a sit down to discuss something he is doing wrong.
"We need to talk" is often also accompanied by a morbid passage of time where they guy has to roll back in time to figure out what it could possibly be about.
It's better to accompany the phrase with a brief preview of what the talk will be about to reduce the anxiety level.
Try "We need to talk about what happened last Saturday" or "When you have time can we chat about you running naked in the mall."
- Saying "I love you" prematurely or all the time.
You shouldn't be in love with anybody after two weeks and you definitely shouldn't be in love with someone after two hours. If you think you are, feel free to keep it to yourself.
To a guy, really strong feelings early on are signs that you might be the insane, overly passionate type.
The type that might drug him and tie the both of you to train tracks in front of a speeding train just so that the two of you can be together forever.
A guy is also afraid you will say, "I love you" around his boys because he is obligated to answer.
The outcome will be a thunderstorm of ridicule from his boys once the girl leaves. Girls might say, "if he loves you he shouldn't care." But why make him go through such a thing?
A guy also shouldn't have to tell you he loves you 10,000 times a day in 47 different languages. It will become mindless repetition and a form of torture I'd wish upon no man.
If he say he loves you once in a while and acts like it all the time that should be enough.
- Excessive phone calls or texting.
It can be frightening to look at your phone and see that you missed 230 calls and 4,500 texts during your 10 minute shower.
It suggests that the girl is either insecure or has an unhealthy obsession with you. Obsessions are scary because obsessed people are capable of anything.
Romeo and Juliet is based on two young people obsessed with each other and look how that turned out.
If you call and someone doesn't not pick up, feel free to try once or twice more in case they didn't hear the ringer, then leave one voice message or send one text message like a normal person.
They will call you back as soon as they can. Don't make a person pick up a call just to stop your continuously barrage of calls. They will invariably not be happy to speak to you.
- Profound, hormonally induced mood swings.
It's a simple matter of men failing to understand the mechanisms or reasons behind such things. Men can cope with a slow but consistent assent into a different mood.
In fact, they can have the chance to stop whatever it is that they are doing before it gets to the point of no return.
Mood swings are abrupt and insurmountable, more like being on a flat road and smacking straight into a mountain that appeared instantaneous with no warning.
To go from happy and cheerful to livid and homicidal in space of five minutes is very scary.
Those are the kinds of situations that result in her punching you in the throat, hitting you over the head with frying pan or "accidentally" lighting you on fire.
- Having to talk about Ex's.
There is no reason to be overbearing when it comes to discussing your ex.
No guy wants to spend too much time talking about other men. When discussing exes, a comparison is being made but one of the people being compared is expected to give their input.
They are expected to express an opinion about a complete stranger with the only source being someone who is really biased, usually negatively towards the very same stranger.
Discuss your ex as much as you want with your BFF, after all, that's what she is there for. Compare us as much as you want just don't involve your man.
- A woman with no female friends.
It scares a man when there is an unrealistic burden placed on him.
If a man has to be everything to a woman—her boyfriend, her girlfriend, her husband, her best friend, her activity partner, her confidant and her entertainment.
Any man who is required to be all these things is destined to fail because no one person is that interesting or capable of being everything someone else needs.
The reason we have many different friends in life is because everyone has something different and uniquely interesting to offer mankind.
It is also the case that every man wants to be considered as an independent entity and not some appendage growing out of his significant other.
It is sad when a man stops being referred to as "he" and mutates into the collective reference "they."