Morning Show Archives:
REAL WORLD ADVICE FOR GRADUATES
- Don't argue with a cop.
- When with your friends, don't drink so much you pass out. Especially if they aren't as drunk as you and there are magic markers around. You will regret it.
- When you do go to buy a house, the bank will tell you that you can afford a house THREE times more expensive than you can really afford. They don't care if you eat.
- Avoid road rage. Always remember that the other guy...he could shoot you.
- Junior mints can turn any cloudy day sunny
- Always vote in elections. That way you can complain about who gets elected. If not, you'll have to shut up about it for 4 years.
- Condoms. Use em.
- NEVER walk up to a woman and say "When are you expecting?" (even if the head is poking out - don't say it. You could get injured).
- Always look before flushing. Your wallet could be in there.
- If you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, don't flush. It saves on the water bill.
- NEVER be photographed naked. It will come back to haunt you. Trust me.
- If you can't afford to buy it - don't. Credit cards will kill you.
- When buying a keg, never leave your own i.d. with the deposit.