101.9fm Chicago

E-Mail:

Morning Show Archives:

How to Avoid the 45 Year-Old 'WTF-I'm-Still-Single' Moment from madamenoire.com.

Stop taking relationship advice from single women.

This includes bloggers and magazine columnists in their late twenties and early thirties nowhere near the aisle. They are just as single as you. Seek the wisdom of women in the types of relationships you want and, if that is marriage, find yourself a few married friends-newlyweds, veterans, even divorcees. They are or have been there. It's not that single women have nothing to offer in the area of relationships, but they should not be your primary source of advice on how to get married. It's like asking a dog to teach you to purr.

Limit your consumption of negative media.

Between all of the "studies" and bad advice from the 47 percent (of unmarried women over 30), the media has helped created a web of confusion. Much of it is imbalanced and hyperconsumption has caused the extremes to reflect in too much of our behavior. The longer you read and listen to someone tell you it's alright to have children out-of-wedlock the more prone you are to do so. The more you admire Nene Leakes' red bottoms the closer you are to becoming a boisterous bully. We are what we consume. And, unfortunately, the negative usually rubs off more than the good.

Start listening to men.

I find it interesting how often women disregard honest commentary from men on the very issues they struggle to conquer, especially when it comes to black women and relationships. Half of the time you would save yourself the heartache of catching feelings for and Facebook-stalking guys who just wants a good time. The other half you would spend getting acquainted with your future husband. Men give you all of the answers if you sit back long enough to listen. Furthermore, a good number of eligible bachelorettes are still single because they hear and choose not to listen. The thing is you can't always have it your way and, unless you plan on switching teams, you will have to make some adjustments. You know, the same way men do for women.

Stop giving boyfriends husband treatment.

A boyfriend is just that-a boyfriend. Until a man takes the steps to assume legal commitment, he should not be afforded the benefits, including but not limited to: limitless sex, cohabitation complete with (homemade) gourmet meals, offspring and relocation. Otherwise, what reason does any man have to marry you? The legal side of marriage is only a small fraction of the big picture but nonetheless important. So, get rid of that whole "it's just a piece of paper" mentality before you find yourself with a boyfriend of 20 years, no spousal privileges...and two kids. Fail.

Get over yourself and your career.

You graduated from Harvard Law School and you're on the partner track at a prestigious firm-the world gets it. However, if you feel that it somehow makes you a great catch you are sorely mistaken. Academic achievements and professional successes don't make you every man's dream. While you should take pride in your accomplishments, it is important not to lean on them for validation. Men are more interested in getting to know you, not what you do. On the same token, it is also essential to keep in mind that you may love your career but, when you're on your deathbed, it won't be by your side loving you back.

Bring your physical expectations back down to Earth.

You don't have a two pack, but you want a man with eight? Not impossible but certainly unrealistic. Among other attributes on the "the list," several of you on the WTF-happened-to-my-life path adhere to a set of aesthetic criteria-bright teeth, soft feet, clear skin, low-frequency waves (a sign of "good hair"), three to six inches taller than you in heels, etc. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to marry Tyson Beckford, it becomes a problem when you don't look like a supermodel. It is unreasonable to settle for nothing less than pearly white teeth when yours are Starbucks-stained and crooked. Seriously, does he really have to meet the minimum six foot two requirement when you're only five foot three yourself?

Talk to a psychologist.

If you've reached a particular age, it's likely you have a bad experience or ten with men. And, it is quite possible those negative experiences have influenced your approach to relationships and dating over the years and may just be what's keeping you single. Angry, bitter women were not born that way-it's learned behavior. The sooner you deal with the demons of past knuckleheads the sooner you will be in the frame of mind to meet a wonderful man. If not, you will find yourself middle-aged, dried up and mad that all you have to look forward to is the Essence Festival every year with your other chronically single friends.

Date for love, not race.

Love and marriage are about so much more than skin color, ethnicity or culture. Many of us view love through a black gaze and it prevents us from seeing all the world has to offer. There is no shortage of men. You're just being shortsighted-which will have you watching reruns of Single Ladies, coveting your neighbor's husband.

Make yourself uncomfortable.

New experiences mean new people and new people means the opportunity to meet men who are different than those you've dated in the past. Attend an art gallery opening, join a running club-do something out of the ordinary. Most women keep dating the same losers because they keep meeting men in similar environments. Switch it up and the caliber of results will be different.

May

Overcast
72.0°/22.2°

Traffic

Radar

Forecast

		I-94 EDENS EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 8 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94 Edens Exwy INBOUND from IL-58/Dempster St (#37) to I-90 Kennedy Exwy

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 8 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy INBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to I-94 Edens Exwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 8 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from I-55 Stevenson Exwy to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 7 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy INBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-290 EISENHOWER EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 7 - Incidents 0 () I-290 Eisenhower Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy/Dan Ryan Exwy to Wolf Rd (#16)

		I-94 EDENS EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 6 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94 Edens Exwy INBOUND from I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway to I-90 Kennedy Exwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 6 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXPRESS LANES OUTBOUND Jam Factor 6 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Express Lanes Outbound from Ohio St/Ontario St Feeder to I-94 Edens Exwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90 Chicago Skyway to I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy

		LAKE SHORE DRIVE NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () Lake Shore Drive NORTHBOUND from Balbo Dr to Bryn Mawr Av

		I-94 EDENS EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-94 Edens Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90 Kennedy Exwy to IL-58/Dempster St (#37)

		I-94 BISHOP FORD FRWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy OUTBOUND from I-57/Dan Ryan Exwy to I-80/I-294/IL-394 Kingery Exwy/Tri-State Tollway

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy OUTBOUND from I-94 Edens Exwy to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-94 Edens Exwy

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXPRESS LANES INBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Express Lanes Inbound from I-94 Edens Exwy to Ohio St/Ontario St Feeder

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy OUTBOUND from US-41 Lake Shore Dr to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-290 EISENHOWER EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-290 Eisenhower Exwy OUTBOUND from Congress Pkwy to IL-53

		I-290 EISENHOWER EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-290 Eisenhower Exwy INBOUND from Wolf Rd (#16) to I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy/Dan Ryan Exwy

		LAKE SHORE DRIVE NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 4 - Incidents 0 () Lake Shore Drive NORTHBOUND from Hayes Dr to Bryn Mawr Av

		I-94 EDENS EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 4 - Incidents 0 () I-94 Edens Exwy INBOUND from I-94 Edens Exwy to IL-58/Dempster St (#37)

		I-90/I-94 KENNEDY EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 4 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Kennedy Exwy INBOUND from I-94 Edens Exwy to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-290 EISENHOWER EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 4 - Incidents 0 () I-290 Eisenhower Exwy INBOUND from IL-53 to Congress Pkwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy

		LAKE SHORE DRIVE NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () Lake Shore Drive NORTHBOUND from Hayes Dr to Balbo Dr

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from Lake-Cook Rd to I-90 Jane Addams Tollway

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway OUTBOUND from Boone/Mchenry County Line to I-39 (NP)

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy OUTBOUND from US-41 Lake Shore Dr to I-80 (#250)

		I-290 EISENHOWER EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-290 Eisenhower Exwy INBOUND from I-355 North-South Tollway (#7) to Wolf Rd (#16)

		I-190 O'HARE ACCESS EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-190 O'Hare Access Exwy INBOUND from O'Hare Airport to I-90 Kennedy Exwy

		IL-53 NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () IL-53 NORTHBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to Lake-Cook Rd

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from I-90 Jane Addams Tollway to I-55 Stevenson Exwy

		I-94 EDENS EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-94 Edens Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90 Kennedy Exwy to I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-55 Stevenson Exwy

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway OUTBOUND from IL-31 to Mchenry/Boone County Line

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway INBOUND from Mchenry/Boone County Line to IL-31

		I-90 CHICAGO SKYWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Chicago Skyway INBOUND from Illinois State Line to I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from Wisconsin State Line to I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy/Kingery Exwy

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway OUTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to Mchenry/Boone County Line

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway INBOUND from Mchenry/Boone County Line to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway INBOUND from I-39 (NP) to Boone/Mchenry County Line

		I-80/I-94 KINGERY EXWY EASTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-80/I-94 Kingery Exwy EASTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway/I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy/IL-394 to Illinois State Line

		I-80 WESTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-80 WESTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway (#155) to US-45 La Grange Rd (#145)

		I-80 EASTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-80 EASTBOUND from US-45 La Grange Rd (#145) to I-294 Tri-State Tollway (#155)

		I-57 NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-57 NORTHBOUND from I-80 Moline Exwy (#345) to I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy OUTBOUND from I-355 North-South Tollway to I-80 (#250)

		I-55 STEVENSON EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-55 Stevenson Exwy INBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to US-41 Lake Shore Dr

		I-190 O'HARE ACCESS EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-190 O'Hare Access Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90 Kennedy Exwy to O'Hare Airport

		I-355 NORTH-SOUTH TOLLWAY NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 2 (Moderate) I-355 North-South Tollway NORTHBOUND from I-80 to I-55 Stevenson Exwy

		I-355 NORTH-SOUTH TOLLWAY NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 2 (Moderate) I-355 North-South Tollway NORTHBOUND from I-80 to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

Today	Hi: 71 Lo: 62	Thunderstorms
Thursday	Hi: 55 Lo: 52	Thunderstorms Likely
Friday	Hi: 59 Lo: 46	Chance Showers
Saturday	Hi: 61 Lo: 46	Chance Showers
Sunday	Hi: 64 Lo: 51	Breezy