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13 Signs She's A Loser (11/17)

Baby, I'm Yours: She wants to have kids so she can stop working and mooch off you. Now who's the child?
She Needs To Do Everything With You: It's one thing to share experiences, but it's another thing to need someone to hold your hand all the time. When it goes beyond wanting to spending time together to demanding it constantly, you have to wonder, what's her problem?
Party Pooper: She's mopey when you're not giving her 100 percent of your attention. When you start having fun, she's wants to leave.
Sex As A Weapon: Putting out is the bartering chip she's been using since her school days, but it's a cheap ploy. A clever woman who respects herself doesn't have to abuse her sexual power.
Dirty-Flirty Double Standard: She flirts with dudes in front of you, shamelessly. Then, she gets super mad and makes a scene if you so much as give a cute waitress your order.
High-Maintenance Mama: She's constantly complaining and barking orders. Everyone around her rolls their eyes at her demands. Why doesn't she get off her duff and do it herself?
Friend Indeed: She forces you to show off to her lady friends with grand displays of obedience, love, and virility. But she never wants to hang out with you and your best bros. Why is it she expects people to thinks she's impressive when she never does anything to impress them?
Parent Trap: She blames her life's problems on her parents, yet she depends on them, a lot.
Social Climber: She's always looking for someone richer to kiss up to. When it comes to making new friends, she's a total snob.
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep: She thinks she should be famous, but she hasn't done anything to warrant admiration besides look pretty.
Eau De Desperation: She reeks of needing a man, and she will stop at nothing to bag one. When she's single, her female friends even feel like they have to hide their boyfriends for fear she will try to pounce.
One-Way Street: You're constantly doing things for her, but, as Janet Jackson would put it, "What have you done for me lately?" If she's going to act like a princess, why doesn't she treat you like the prince of a gentleman you are?
Go Fish: She's always looking for compliments. You have to constantly reassure her that she's amazing, but her response always seems to say: "I know."

May

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		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 5 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway INBOUND from I-39 (NP) to Boone/Mchenry County Line

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway OUTBOUND from Boone/Mchenry County Line to I-39 (NP)

		I-90 CHICAGO SKYWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Chicago Skyway OUTBOUND from I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy to Illinois State Line

		I-80/I-94 KINGERY EXWY EASTBOUND Jam Factor 3 - Incidents 0 () I-80/I-94 Kingery Exwy EASTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway/I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy/IL-394 to Illinois State Line

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 2 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90 Chicago Skyway to I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from Local/Express Split-Merge (North) to Local/Express Split-Merge (South)

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from Local/Express Split-Merge (South) to Local/Express Split-Merge (North)

		I-80/I-94 BORMAN EXWY WESTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-80/I-94 Borman Exwy WESTBOUND from I-65 (#12) to Illinois State Line

		I-80/I-94 BORMAN EXWY EASTBOUND Jam Factor 2 - Incidents 0 () I-80/I-94 Borman Exwy EASTBOUND from Illinois State Line to I-65 (#12)

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 3 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 2 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from I-55 Stevenson Exwy to I-80

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy OUTBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-55 Stevenson Exwy

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from I-55 Stevenson Exwy to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway OUTBOUND from IL-31 to Mchenry/Boone County Line

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway OUTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway to Mchenry/Boone County Line

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway INBOUND from Mchenry/Boone County Line to IL-31

		I-90 JANE ADDAMS TOLLWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Jane Addams Tollway INBOUND from Mchenry/Boone County Line to I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-90 CHICAGO SKYWAY INBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-90 Chicago Skyway INBOUND from Illinois State Line to I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy

		I-80 WESTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-80 WESTBOUND from I-294 Tri-State Tollway (#155) to US-45 La Grange Rd (#145)

		I-80 EASTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-80 EASTBOUND from US-45 La Grange Rd (#145) to I-294 Tri-State Tollway (#155)

		I-190 O'HARE ACCESS EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 1 - Incidents 0 () I-190 O'Hare Access Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90 Kennedy Exwy to O'Hare Airport

		I-90/I-94 DAN RYAN EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 3 (Moderate) I-90/I-94 Dan Ryan Exwy INBOUND from I-57/Bishop Ford Frwy to I-90 Chicago Skyway

		I-94 EDENS EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Severe) I-94 Edens Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90 Kennedy Exwy to IL-58/Dempster St (#37)

		I-94 EDENS EXWY OUTBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Severe) I-94 Edens Exwy OUTBOUND from I-90 Kennedy Exwy to I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway

		I-94 EDENS EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Severe) I-94 Edens Exwy INBOUND from IL-58/Dempster St (#37) to I-90 Kennedy Exwy

		I-94 EDENS EXWY INBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Severe) I-94 Edens Exwy INBOUND from I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway to I-90 Kennedy Exwy

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from Wisconsin State Line to I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy/Kingery Exwy

		I-94 OUTBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-94 Outbound from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy/Kingery Exwy

		I-57 NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-57 NORTHBOUND from Kankakee/Will County Line to I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy

		I-57 NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-57 NORTHBOUND from I-80 Moline Exwy (#345) to I-94 Bishop Ford Frwy

		I-355 NORTH-SOUTH TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-355 North-South Tollway SOUTHBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to I-80

		I-355 NORTH-SOUTH TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-355 North-South Tollway SOUTHBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to Exit to I-88 Reagan Tollway (Southwestside)

		I-355 NORTH-SOUTH TOLLWAY NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-355 North-South Tollway NORTHBOUND from I-80 to I-55 Stevenson Exwy

		I-355 NORTH-SOUTH TOLLWAY NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-355 North-South Tollway NORTHBOUND from I-80 to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		I-355 NORTH-SOUTH TOLLWAY NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 1 (Moderate) I-355 North-South Tollway NORTHBOUND from I-55 Stevenson Exwy to Exit to I-88 Reagan Tollway (Southwestside)

		LAKE SHORE DRIVE SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () Lake Shore Drive SOUTHBOUND from Bryn Mawr Av to Hayes Dr

		LAKE SHORE DRIVE SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () Lake Shore Drive SOUTHBOUND from Bryn Mawr Av to Balbo Dr

		LAKE SHORE DRIVE SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () Lake Shore Drive SOUTHBOUND from Balbo Dr to Hayes Dr

		LAKE SHORE DRIVE NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () Lake Shore Drive NORTHBOUND from Hayes Dr to Bryn Mawr Av

		LAKE SHORE DRIVE NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () Lake Shore Drive NORTHBOUND from Hayes Dr to Balbo Dr

		LAKE SHORE DRIVE NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () Lake Shore Drive NORTHBOUND from Balbo Dr to Bryn Mawr Av

		IL-53 SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () IL-53 SOUTHBOUND from Lake-Cook Rd to I-290 Eisenhower Exwy

		IL-53 NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () IL-53 NORTHBOUND from I-290 Eisenhower Exwy to Lake-Cook Rd

		IL-394 SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () IL-394 SOUTHBOUND from KINGERY EXWY/I-80/I-94 to Lincoln Hwy

		IL-394 NORTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () IL-394 NORTHBOUND from Lincoln Hwy to KINGERY EXWY/I-80/I-94

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from Wisconsin State Line to IL-60/Townline Rd

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from Lake-Cook Rd to I-90 Jane Addams Tollway

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from IL-60/Townline Rd to Lake-Cook Rd

		I-94/I-294 TRI-STATE TOLLWAY SOUTHBOUND Jam Factor 0 - Incidents 0 () I-94/I-294 Tri-State Tollway SOUTHBOUND from I-90 Jane Addams Tollway to I-55 Stevenson Exwy

Today	Hi: 82 Lo: 71	Mostly Sunny
Monday	Hi: 89 Lo: 69	Chance Thunderstorms
Tuesday	Hi: 83 Lo: 66	Thunderstorms Likely
Wednesday	Hi: 73 Lo: 59	Thunderstorms Likely
Thursday	Hi: 62 Lo: 49	Thunderstorms Likely