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The Thing No One Knows About Me

Posted: 2015-03-24 09:50 AM
I can sing row row your boat backwards.

I love to pull out my boyfriends ingrown hairs and look at them.

I drive a semi in Chicago...See Full Post

Your Humble Brag

Posted: 2015-03-23 11:40 AM
Everyone thinks my boobs are fake because I'm a stripper #suckstobepretty

Only 80 degrees and partly sunny in Florida today. Those clouds are hurting #beachtime #floridaproblems...See Full Post

How Does Your Significant Other Show Off?

Posted: 2015-03-19 09:42 AM
He takes out the garbage bag from the can and flexes his arms as he pulls it out... lmfao.. he's tiny ha ha

My husband gets...See Full Post

The Nickname I was Given...

Posted: 2015-03-10 09:44 AM
Skullduggery. An idiot coworker gave me that nickname. Because I'm bald.

Porch Light. I use to work at a trucking company on nights and rarely saw...See Full Post

What My Ex Says About Me

Posted: 2015-03-04 09:58 AM
My ex tells people my "tower" is less than average. That new study says otherwise.

My ex once told my current gf that I once made...See Full Post

The Thing I'd Say to My Ex

Posted: 2015-02-24 09:46 AM
He wasn't my cousin.

2 pumps and done doesn't cut it!!!!!

I'm sorry I wasn't able to fill your black cold empty void that you didn't show...See Full Post

Your Worst Walk of Shame

Posted: 2015-02-23 11:53 AM
My worst walk of shame was when I first moved to Chicago I had gone out drinking with my new co workers and I woke...See Full Post

Why are you a Hopeless Romantic?

Posted: 2015-02-11 05:59 AM
I'm a hopeless romantic because If I'm not then I realize I will die alone.

I'm a hopeless romantic because on the nights with more romance...See Full Post

What makes you THAT couple?

Posted: 2015-02-11 05:58 AM
We wax each other's butts.

We r the best couple ever because he hates when my IBS acts up so he went out in the blizzard...See Full Post

The Lie I Told To Impress People

Posted: 2015-02-05 10:13 AM
I tell people that I was the second choice to play Kevin in "Home Alone." Grade
school friends still do the hands-to-cheeks scream when they...See Full Post

Your Random Super Bowl Observation

Posted: 2015-02-02 09:46 AM
The Patriots coach rubbed the back of his ear and then smelled his finger!

Katy Perry started with a gold outfit but had silver shoes on.

Guys...See Full Post

Five Words to Ruin a Wedding

Posted: 2015-01-29 09:21 AM
My baby-daddy is here

wow that's a big bride!

(To the bride) Wow! You look so...comfortable

The groom ate his cigar.

The D.J. is not coming

Glad my Ebola went...See Full Post

My Sex Life Described in a Band Name

Posted: 2015-01-21 09:48 AM
The Honeydrippers
Buck cherry
Butt Hole Surfers
The Wiggles
Ah ha
Nine Inch Nails
White Snake
The Strokes
Puddle of Mud
Fall Out Boy .... It happens
The Flaming Lips
Limp Bizkit
Big Punisher
Back Door Slam
The Lonely...See Full Post

The Time You Flirted With Him and He Didn't Notice

Posted: 2015-01-07 09:53 AM
I said "I have on my "F Me" pumps and want to put them to use" Yes it worked
I put my head on his lap...See Full Post

What Put You On the Naughty List?

Posted: 2014-12-19 07:26 AM
I got put on the naughty list by tweeting to my 17 year old son. Completely
embarrassing, you know. Now I am blocked from his...See Full Post

The Moment You Realized It Was Over

Posted: 2014-12-16 09:47 AM
When he told me that the only reason he stayed with me was because of my butt.

When she returned her spaghetti at a restaurant cause...See Full Post

The Thing You Are Known For That You Wish You Weren't

Posted: 2014-12-02 09:51 AM
Teachers called me acid girl in high school cuz I stuck my arm in acid accidentally in Chemistry. Subsequently everyone thought I was a drug...See Full Post

The 3 Words That Describe My Thanksgiving

Posted: 2014-12-01 09:53 AM
Fat drunk happy
Caught wife cheating
Mom flipped table
Excruciating painful diarrhea
Polish uncle's moonshine
I Got Dumped
Uncomfortable table talk
Punched my sister
Nearly split pants.
Huge food orgy
Unplanned home birth
Dog ate turkey
Santa...See Full Post

What Interesting Thing Are You Thankful For This Year?

Posted: 2014-11-25 09:34 AM
I am thankful for my vasectomy.

I'm thankful for Netflix auto play. I don't even have to move.

I am thankful that I finally found a bra...See Full Post

What's the best way to ask for a sexy pic?

Posted: 2014-11-17 09:00 AM
I wouldn't mind seeing how sexy you look right now.

Hey, boob me.

So how's my girl looking today!?

Let me see what I'm missing...

Slip me a nip?

Hey...See Full Post

One word to describe the first time you saw

Posted: 2014-11-10 09:33 AM
Holy S!
Burro (Donkey in Spanish)

The Text You Would Love to Wake Up To

Posted: 2014-11-05 10:09 AM
Pants off dance off!

Gotta be honest with you, When I think about how lucky I am to have you in my life it makes me...See Full Post

The Weird Thing He or She Asked Me...

Posted: 2014-10-30 10:33 AM
She asked me to pretend to be a burglar who takes full advantage of her.
While watching a "Saw" movie, my boyfriend asked me which leg...See Full Post

Our Epic Fight

Posted: 2014-10-28 09:43 AM
I changed my mind after telling him he could wear a Hawaiian shirt on our
wedding day. Big mistake.

Got into a huge fight about whether...See Full Post

The Thing I Blurted Out

Posted: 2014-10-21 09:54 AM
"You can't go to Ireland with that nose!" Said to a friend who was saving money to travel abroad.

Referring to my mother-in-laws cooking. "Is this...See Full Post

The Worst Place I've Done It

Posted: 2014-10-17 09:33 AM
In a forest. It was impromptu so had no blanket. Holy cow - painful!!!!

On a roof with 95 degree weather. Hot tar, yuck!

In the back...See Full Post

Man, I Hope No One Sees Me...

Posted: 2014-10-09 09:30 AM
Put on my spanks.

I hope no one ever sees me pee in the shower.

Plucking my chin hair.

Chew my toenails.

Man, I hope now ever sees me...See Full Post

My Unique Man Brag

Posted: 2014-10-03 10:46 AM
I'm 9 months pregnant can't reach the bum so he wipes.

My hubby can balance just about anything on his chin from a beer bottle to...See Full Post

I Just Want to Tell My Spouse...

Posted: 2014-10-01 09:36 AM
I want to tell my spouse, "Fat, dumb and stupid is no way to live your life."

I want to tell my spouse that I use...See Full Post

The Moment We Love to Reminisce About

Posted: 2014-09-29 09:36 AM
The time my friends and I were in Denny's when two elderly men had a full on fist fight. The one man pushed the other...See Full Post

The Random Reason We Broke Up

Posted: 2014-09-19 15:30 PM
He smelled like soup all the time.

Because he would always put his socks in the laundry...INSIDE OUT!!!! Made me irrationally crazy!!

She urinated on me...See Full Post

The Random, Stupid Thing That's Annoying Me

Posted: 2014-09-17 11:03 AM
When couples post every single thing they do and make it seem like they're so in love. It's like shut up keep some stuff to...See Full Post

When I was a kid I used to think...

Posted: 2014-09-09 12:24 PM
I used to think pickles were made from alligators.

I always used to think that the world was actually black-and-white because
all the pictures were black-and-white...See Full Post

My Unfortunate Name

Posted: 2014-09-08 09:34 AM
My dad's full name is Harold Richard. He was always called Dick, and had the
nickname Harry Dick.

Lorialice. People pronounce as Laura lice. It is...See Full Post

Your Hillbilly Labor Day Weekend

Posted: 2014-09-02 10:11 AM
During my hillbilly weekend, I got kicked in the kneecap by a cow.

One family member stood by the creek while we all took shots at...See Full Post

The Question You've Always Wanted to Ask Mark Suppelsa

Posted: 2014-08-28 09:21 AM
At the beach do you choose Swim trunks, a Speedo or a Mankini?

What is the biggest on air mistake or blooper Mark has ever done?

Have...See Full Post

What Women Talk About When Men Are NOT Around

Posted: 2014-08-25 09:59 AM
Men and how annoying the are.

Waxing your "downstairs".

We talk about our boyfriend's embarrassing moments during sex.

Butt Bleaching

The UPS man

Gynecologist appointments.

In a sex change operation what...See Full Post

The Craziest Thing I Did For Money

Posted: 2014-08-21 10:15 AM
I put a used condom found on the ground in my mouth for $100. Not proud.

I strolled casually through a mall wearing nothing but knee-high...See Full Post

The Weird Thing I'm Into

Posted: 2014-08-20 09:41 AM
My husband likes footjobs-- you know like a hand one but with my feet.

My ex husband wanted me to suck on his eyeballs and crack...See Full Post

The Forbidden Compliment You Want to Give

Posted: 2014-08-13 09:44 AM
I am a nanny and the husband is very large and muscular and I want to tell him how much I enjoy gawking at his...See Full Post

The Craziest Thing I Did To Get His/Her Attention

Posted: 2014-08-11 09:45 AM
My husband was ignoring me so I walked up the entire driveway backwards,
mooning him.

I sent him a whole bunch of sloth memes...all with sexual...See Full Post

The Strangest Thing I Heard This Weekend

Posted: 2014-08-04 09:44 AM
When the sperm is inside you, does it feel like a nice massage?

He sleeps so hard he won't even wake up for a goat giving...See Full Post

My Relationship White Lie

Posted: 2014-07-30 09:53 AM
I hired a DJ for our wedding...my fiance doesn't know about the one night stand the DJ and I had...

My white lie to him is...See Full Post

Gossip Got Me in Trouble

Posted: 2014-07-24 10:11 AM
I said that my friend had an extra set of nipples when we were in middle school - the rumor followed her until we graduated...See Full Post

The Unreasonable Argument We're Having...

Posted: 2014-07-22 09:59 AM
I'm mad at him this morning because his ex girlfriend changed her profile picture.

He threw a sponge at the cat.

He chews too loud and I...See Full Post

I hope my BFF never tells the story about...

Posted: 2014-07-18 09:43 AM
I slept with our other best friends brother and she's the only one that doesn't know.

The time we went to the apartment of two Jamaican...See Full Post

I Was So Jealous I...

Posted: 2014-07-16 13:52 PM
I had 2 cameras installed at his place.

I read my boyfriend (now husband's) emails because I thought he was emailing a woman... Turns out he...See Full Post

4 Words to Describe Your Butt

Posted: 2014-07-14 11:38 AM
Hard but very Hairy

A jiggly voluptuous badonkadonk

Titanium alloy hotdog buns

Undefined flat mom butt

Moldy putrid cottage cheese

Just ripe fuzzy peach

Superhero! Zap - Pow - Bam!

Flat pimply...See Full Post

Your Random Thought Right Now

Posted: 2014-07-09 09:56 AM
How many times a day can I say "keep on trucking" before it's too many?

How do I tell my coworker that you can totally see...See Full Post

The Creepiest Thing Someone Randomly Said to Me...

Posted: 2014-07-08 09:47 AM
Strangest thing said... "you have great child bearing hips" I was 21... Turned and walked away!

"I want to climb you like a tree." - said...See Full Post

I Hope It Never Happens Again...

Posted: 2014-07-07 10:03 AM
When I was twelve I had the brilliant idea to swim in a pond and when I got out I had leeches stuck to my...See Full Post

Marriage Advice for Social Media Chris

Posted: 2014-06-17 09:51 AM
Best piece of advice...hire a housekeeper! Drink wine instead of cleaning.

It's not okay to put a pillow over your spouse's face if they are snoring.

Sex...See Full Post

The Random Fact About Me

Posted: 2014-06-09 10:16 AM
I have to keep a nickel with me at all times.

I have been married for 32 years and when my husband is out of town...See Full Post

The Lie You Told This Morning

Posted: 2014-06-03 09:37 AM
I didn't see that email.

No, I didn't sleep with her this morning.

I said I'm late to work because of lady problems. They can't fight that!

Sorry...See Full Post

What should be this year's unique Golf Outing foursome?

Posted: 2014-06-02 09:27 AM
Send a virgin out with 3 pole dancers.

Blackhawks fans and kings fans.

A guy with 3 of his ex-girlfriends.

The Plowtender, The Tampactress, Roger/Robert/Ralph, and Swany's wife.

A...See Full Post

What's Your Biggest Fear Right Now?

Posted: 2014-05-30 09:48 AM
Going to the doctor and being diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis.

My greatest fear is sneezing while driving. Because who knows what happens
during that one instance...See Full Post

What Chicago Blackhawks Player Should We Make Fun Of?

Posted: 2014-05-27 09:35 AM
Shawzer- his creepy stache/"beard". Plus, he's due for a winning goal!!
Brandon don't be Saad, be happy.

Kaner. He's so very fancy with the puck, he needs...See Full Post

What would you write in the Eric & Kathy yearbook?

Posted: 2014-05-21 09:49 AM
Brittney will never be a CEO.

Fun times with Tinder! Have a great summer!

Lets be real... See you at the 10 year reunion.

I'll never forgot when...See Full Post

The Strange Thing That Happened at Prom...

Posted: 2014-05-19 09:42 AM
We had my prom on the odyssey cruise ship in Chicago. We brought fishing poles and started fishing off the back of the boat.

Went to...See Full Post

The Motto You Live By

Posted: 2014-05-14 09:48 AM
Life's a bitch... And so am I

"Quit f***ing up."

Smarter not harder.

Poop it out.

Keep your mistakes reversible.

You're never too old to have a happy childhood!

You do...See Full Post

The Thing I'm Still Hiding from My Mom

Posted: 2014-05-12 09:49 AM
I almost married a random in Vegas.

I was a nude model in college. She still thinks I just worked for the art

Flashed a bunch...See Full Post

Confessions from Dads

Posted: 2014-05-08 07:26 AM
I smoke cigars with my 5 year old when my wife isn't home

I take my kid to the park and bring the iPad. I get...See Full Post

The Simplest Secret to a Successful Relationship

Posted: 2014-05-07 09:18 AM
Sex. It fixes everything for a man!! I've been with my husband for 26 years,
and it still works!

Work different shifts, you can't fight if...See Full Post

If We Got Married Where We Met...

Posted: 2014-05-05 09:41 AM
Long John Silvers.

In a McDonald's drive thru.

Community pool.

Picket line.

A tow yard.

In a pickup truck in Africa.

I met my husband at the Rockhouse in Rolling Meadows....See Full Post

He Failed to Impress Me When He...

Posted: 2014-05-01 11:25 AM
When he asked the waiter to split the tab on a first date.

He failed to impress me when he's 45 years old and wearing an...See Full Post

The Question You Want to Ask Your Spouse Anonymously

Posted: 2014-04-29 09:43 AM
Why do you REALLY want a 3rd kid?

Does my husband still have the 'videos' of his ex? And if so, does he still watch them?

Did...See Full Post

My friend is crazy because...

Posted: 2014-04-18 09:40 AM
I have a friend who licks the wine bottle cork instead of smelling it when
the waiter hands it to her. So embarrassing.

Our best couple...See Full Post

Why I ended the date early...

Posted: 2014-04-16 09:48 AM
He talked for 45 minutes straight. At the 45 minute mark I stood up, nodded my head, and walked out...

We were eating dinner at Texas...See Full Post

I got so drunk on my first date...

Posted: 2014-04-14 09:42 AM
I fell asleep in the shower with the water running.

I threw up in his car on the ride home!

My phone got stolen by a stripper.

I...See Full Post

Every woman ought to...

Posted: 2014-04-11 09:48 AM
Shop rodeo drive.

Learn to Change a tire.

See the Thunder Down Under!

Fill the bath tub with your favorite flavor of jello and jump in its refreshing...See Full Post

The Big Story You Wait to Tell Him or Her

Posted: 2014-04-08 09:44 AM
I've eaten raccoon and it's my favorite meat.

I was held up with a shotgun.

Tell them that I'm married! But we swing so it's okay.

I've been...See Full Post

What message should we send to Big Karwowski's stolen iPad?

Posted: 2014-04-04 09:39 AM
"This device will self destruct in 15 seconds." Then give a countdown.

That shirt doesn't match your outfit today.

I use my iPad in the bathroom. I...See Full Post

What's the Best Advice You've Ever Received?

Posted: 2014-04-03 09:29 AM
Sometimes the nicest thing you can do for her is to let her do something
nice for you.

Never give up the "back door" but make...See Full Post

My BIG Revelation

Posted: 2014-03-28 09:45 AM
Until my sister in law told me when I was about 35, I did not know eating asparagus caused an "odor".

I never realized that the...See Full Post

The Weird Thing On My Bucket List

Posted: 2014-03-24 09:32 AM
Drive around the country in an rv for a year. I don't know how to drive an RV.

I wanna be a victim in a Rob...See Full Post

People Have a Hard Time Believing...

Posted: 2014-03-19 09:45 AM
No one can believe that I have a 22 year old and a 2 year old.
I was almost killed by a lion. While cleaning out...See Full Post

The Question You've Always Wanted Answered

Posted: 2014-03-13 09:43 AM
Why do men have nipples?

Is it normal to fart when you cough?

Is it "butt baked" or "buck naked"?

How can a door be ajar???

When you shave...See Full Post

The Day I Would Re-Live...

Posted: 2014-03-07 09:36 AM
The day I won $5,000 on a $3 scratch off when I just turned 21! It was a good
week that I dont remember.

If I...See Full Post

Just the Punchline

Posted: 2014-02-28 09:35 AM
It looks like you blew a seal!

No I said throw the first PITCH!

Ken comes in a different box.

Next time we massage you like old man.

Kermits...See Full Post

The Secret Your Keeping from Your Significant Other

Posted: 2014-02-20 14:48 PM
I never told my fiancee I slept with her best friend right after we first
started dating and I called her friend her name in...See Full Post

3 Words to Describe Valentine's Day

Posted: 2014-02-14 09:26 AM
Sex, rinse, repeat

Heart Shaped Meatloaf

New "toy" date

Intense turtle racing

Wine and sweatpants

Party for two

Morning bathroom sex

Groovy Saucy Messy

Excited Hopeful Disappointed


husband forgot anniversary

drunkin debauchery guaranteed

Sore tomorrow morning

Giggity...See Full Post

The Time You Were Too Forward

Posted: 2014-02-12 09:38 AM
I was drunk at a party and kept asking this very attractive girl to take pictures with people. Truthfully, I was taking close ups of...See Full Post

My Embarrassing Weekend Moment...

Posted: 2014-02-10 09:58 AM
I moved in with my boyfriend this weekend - While the moving truck was there my mother grabs his hand and says with her thick...See Full Post

The Rumor I Want to Start...

Posted: 2014-02-07 09:35 AM
I would like to start the rumor that the mother of Justin Timberlake's love
child is from Arlington Heights.

I heard Kim Kardashian is leaving Kanye...See Full Post

The dating Red Flag that you missed...

Posted: 2014-02-06 10:14 AM
He made me pay for my own dollar burger from Wendy's off the value menu.

He never mentioned his fiancee... We never went to his place,...See Full Post

I was so broke I ____.

Posted: 2014-02-05 09:46 AM
I pawned my boyfriend's ex-fiancee's engagement ring. To be fair, it was very
small. He never noticed until I told him after we were married...See Full Post

The Memory I Want to Erase...

Posted: 2014-01-29 09:54 AM
I would like to forget the time I went to Florida when I was 18 and pooped my
pants from drinking too much Captain Morgan.

Accidentally...See Full Post

The Lie I'm Living in the Middle of Right Now

Posted: 2014-01-23 09:27 AM
My 'I have a Dr. appointment' white lie somehow turned into my boyfriend thinking I have a serious medical condition but I was just getting...See Full Post

What's the weird situation in your office right now?

Posted: 2014-01-22 09:37 AM
The owner's son is dating the owner's secretary and the owner is dating his
secretary's mom.

I work with my ex husband's grandma. We've managed to...See Full Post

The Weirdest Dream You've Had Recently

Posted: 2014-01-21 09:53 AM
Weird dream- Freddy Krueger and I were teamed up and I was helping him find people to torture. He left me alone as long as...See Full Post

The Weird Request You Received

Posted: 2014-01-15 09:41 AM
"Hey, you wanna eat ten bananas in one sitting and see what happens?"

My ex bf asked me to choke him while we were making out....See Full Post

Your Unexpected Circumstance at Midnight on New Year's Eve

Posted: 2014-01-07 09:01 AM
I was at a party and the boy I have been crushing on was there so my plan was to kiss him at midnight. Just...See Full Post

Your Unique New Year's Resolution for 2014

Posted: 2014-01-06 09:45 AM
I resolve to live out at least 8 sexual fantasies (Karl, 70+)

My New Year's resolution is to have more fun in Cleveland. Had to move...See Full Post

Why are you on the Naughty List?

Posted: 2013-12-19 09:01 AM
I sprinkle bird seed around my boss's really cool Mercedes do that birds crap
on it...

I backed my sister's 2012 Impala into a tree...See Full Post

The Most Unromantic Christmas Gift I've Ever Received

Posted: 2013-12-17 09:44 AM
A CD organizer for my car that clips to the visor.

A gym membership.

Grocery store gift cards.

Socks and bowling shoes.

A mop, a bottle of lotion, and...See Full Post

What annoys you about your spouse's friends?

Posted: 2013-12-11 10:15 AM
My husband's friend 'Jimmy' that always drops by at dinner time, eats everything, drinks all our beer, then proceeds to make a huge stinky deposit...See Full Post

I'll admit it...

Posted: 2013-12-10 14:26 PM
I got laser hair removal on my face.

I trim the bush to make the tree look taller.

I had that laser tightening surgery for a certain...See Full Post

My Worst Day at Work

Posted: 2013-12-06 09:56 AM
I do scientific research and I started a fire in the lab, it was my first week working there! : (

Working at Target. One night...See Full Post

My Strange ER Visit

Posted: 2013-12-05 10:27 AM
My daughter jammed a button up her nose and we sat in ER for 3 hours to get it out.

My boyfriend turned and smashed his...See Full Post

She Needs an Attitude Adjustment Because...

Posted: 2013-12-02 09:48 AM
Her complaining about "cramping", suck it up.

Because I need to get laid more.

Just because you made a dish for the Thanksgiving Potluck doesn't mean you...See Full Post

I know I'm going to regret ____.

Posted: 2013-11-21 09:42 AM
Telling my wife she's getting "a little chunky"!

Believing Melissa's traffic report.

I know I'm gonna regret overselling myself in that job interview. They're about to
find...See Full Post

Your Big Family Secret

Posted: 2013-11-15 10:39 AM
My Grandmother has been dealing weed for 30 years.

My dad is adopted. We accidentally found the paperwork and no one wants to tell my grandma...See Full Post

The Thing He Does in the Bedroom to Turn Me Off

Posted: 2013-11-12 11:16 AM
When he doesn't trim his nose hairs & they're hanging out. I actually have to get after him to trim them & stop tucking them...See Full Post

How I Paid Off the Bet I Lost...

Posted: 2013-11-06 07:40 AM
I bet that pepper spray didn't have real pepper in it. I lost and had to get
pepper sprayed directly in the face.

I lost. She...See Full Post

The Idiotic Thing My Significant Other Said

Posted: 2013-11-04 09:52 AM
My husband said to me "you don't fold my socks the right way, like my mom".
Haven't folded his socks again. Going on 12 years...See Full Post

The line in your obituary that will blow us away.

Posted: 2013-10-29 09:56 AM
She was a celebrity for a few hours after she won a bikini contest at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas because she did the worm...See Full Post

The Skeleton in your Closet

Posted: 2013-10-25 09:39 AM
No one knows that I stuffed my bra with socks all through high school and college, until the one day I got "busted" on a...See Full Post

Your Freaky Strange Dream

Posted: 2013-10-24 09:33 AM
I dreamt that my best friend was crying because her dog, Maddie, died. When I asked her what happened, she said "My boobs. My boobs...See Full Post

Your Catty Comment

Posted: 2013-10-23 07:07 AM
Melissa's traffic reports are... interesting.

Ladies, Stop complaining about the looks you get when you wear yoga pants. It's not like you bought them for an...See Full Post

The Most Uncomfortable Place You've Done It

Posted: 2013-10-18 09:52 AM
Row boat in the weeds on a small pond in Indiana.

Inside of a large concete sewer pipe prior to its installation along 294 in Deerfield.

The...See Full Post

I'd Like to Apologize...

Posted: 2013-10-15 09:52 AM
I'm sorry I left my swass on the bench at the gym.

I'm sorry I told my husband he is "just like a woman".

I crop dusted...See Full Post

I Will NEVER Do This For My Significant Other

Posted: 2013-10-11 09:49 AM
I will never watch another cowboy movie, army movie or Godfather movie.

We have 2 dogs, a cat, a ferret, and a turtle. I'm drawing the...See Full Post

You Won't Believe What I Got Away With...

Posted: 2013-10-10 09:55 AM
I got away with sexting my wife's best friend.

I got away with having sex on the 50 yard line of my high school football field.

I...See Full Post

The Best Gossip You Heard From Your Man

Posted: 2013-10-07 09:46 AM
His brother 'opened up' his marriage.

My boyfriend told me that our 25 year-old friend is dating a 19 year old.

My husband's HR Department asked him...See Full Post

The Worst Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech

Posted: 2013-10-04 09:33 AM
My cousin got married and had his 16 year old son as best man. He stood up with sunglasses on, said "ugh...hi...dad...congrats...ok, bye." It was...See Full Post

The Question I'm Scared to Ask My Significant Other

Posted: 2013-10-02 09:37 AM
He was engaged to last girlfriend, but they broke it off. I want to know how he
proposed and what her ring looked like!

Have you broken...See Full Post

The thing I'm hiding from everyone else...

Posted: 2013-10-01 09:48 AM
I'm 28 and I still pick my nose. All the time. Daily.

I accidentally just clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's place. So embarrassed!

I'm 30 years...See Full Post

My Weird, Random Thought...

Posted: 2013-09-27 09:38 AM
From time to time I wonder if anyone has ever had one of THOSE kinds of dreams about me.

I wonder what Will Smith is...See Full Post

What does your significant other keep saying about his/her ex?

Posted: 2013-09-25 10:12 AM
My husband always talks about his ex the professional ballerina. Let's just say my body type and grace level could not be further from that...See Full Post

My Messed Up Relationship

Posted: 2013-09-23 09:35 AM
I dated a guy for 3 years who had 2 restraining orders against him from his last 2 girlfriends. I ended up being the 3rd...See Full Post

What crazy thing has your boss said to you?

Posted: 2013-09-17 09:30 AM
Your hair looks really nice down but it would look nicer down spread across my pillows at home instead of here in the restaurant.

What's wrong...See Full Post

What should Jay Cutler text to Brian Urlacher about his retirement?

Posted: 2013-09-13 09:35 AM
Anyway, lets do lunch! How's about mid February? I'll show you my Super Bowl ring.

Sorry Boo- let's go get some mani/pedis when the seasons over-...See Full Post

Marry, Sleep With, Push Off a Cliff

Posted: 2013-09-11 09:49 AM
Rob Elgas, Mark Suppelsa, Whip
George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper
Gary Bussey, Andy Dick, Justin Bieber
Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes
Leno, Letterman, Kimmel
Steve Buscemi, Macauley Culkin,...See Full Post

I Had to Stop Dating Him/Her Because...

Posted: 2013-09-10 09:34 AM
...I found the used condoms under his bed that weren't from us.

I had to stop dating her cause she liked to carry out full conversations...See Full Post

Your Weekend Drama in One Sentence

Posted: 2013-09-09 09:38 AM
My poor dog got sprayed by a skunk right before bed.

The new guy I'm dating who got so drunk at my family party that he...See Full Post

The Strangest Thing You've Seen That Defies Explanation

Posted: 2013-09-05 09:37 AM
A middle aged woman got on the bus wearing a full gas mask that covered her whole head.

While in Starbucks enjoying my latte, the 20...See Full Post

Your Most Unexpected Compliment

Posted: 2013-09-04 09:47 AM
At Renaissance Faire a lady came up to me and said... "You have an amazing thigh, can I take a picture of it?"

When I was...See Full Post

How do you keep it Hot & Spicy?

Posted: 2013-09-03 10:17 AM
To keep things hot I treat her like a stripper. Like a dirty, dirty stripper. The dirtier the better.

What day is it? Tongue only Tuesday....See Full Post

The Embarrassing Thing About My Ex...

Posted: 2013-08-28 08:59 AM
My ex boyfriend used to reenact WWE wrestling matches with his friends and
video tape them.... they would try to get the girlfriends involved too.

My...See Full Post

The BIG Secret You've Been Keeping...

Posted: 2013-08-27 09:33 AM
My own secret. I'm pregnant by my boyfriend, but can't tell anyone because I'm not divorced yet.

My coworker of 6 years is about to get...See Full Post

The Best Advice I Ever Received...

Posted: 2013-08-26 09:34 AM
It may be the motion of the ocean, but you cannot get to England in a Row Boat.

Best advice- never have sex with a crazy.

My...See Full Post

What Goes Through Your Mind When He Talks About His Ex?

Posted: 2013-08-23 09:41 AM
I bet I'm prettier and have a better body than her ;)

I just think "Dumb bitch. You lost him and he's mine." :)

Pure rage.

So, why...See Full Post

The Crazy Thing I Did On A Night Out

Posted: 2013-08-15 09:37 AM
We went through taco bell drive thru topless.

I got a tattoo of a strangers lip print on my neck.

I punched my best friend in the...See Full Post

I'm glad when a woman ____.

Posted: 2013-08-13 10:19 AM
I'm always happy when a woman directs me during playtime.

Picks up the tab and pulls down the trows...

I love it when a woman gives me...See Full Post

I'm Glad When a Guy ____!

Posted: 2013-08-12 09:28 AM
I love it when a man... Leaves the room to fart.

Knows how to use his tongue!

Takes a damn shower!

Defends his girlfriend no matter what.

Doesn't leave...See Full Post

People Hate Me Because

Posted: 2013-08-09 09:31 AM
People hate me because after having 2 kids I left the hospital wearing my normal size 6 jeans. I gained 30 pounds with each child...See Full Post

I'm Sick of Hearing My Partner Say...

Posted: 2013-08-08 09:26 AM
"I wanna be in you" ...not bad the first time you hear it, but 47 times in the same day?

Just let me do it once...See Full Post

The Most Romantic Thing He/She Has Done...

Posted: 2013-08-06 09:55 AM
I texted him this: I love you. That's all. He responded: I love you. That is everything!

My girlfriend made a board game of our date...See Full Post

We Are Currently Fighting About...

Posted: 2013-08-05 09:27 AM
Boyfriend miscalculated traveling time to a wedding in WI Didn't check in at the hotel early, I only had 10 minutes to get ready. I...See Full Post

My #1 Rule When Dating a Man

Posted: 2013-08-02 09:34 AM
My dating rule is he MUST like hot pockets and beer.

My rule is no gifts over around fifty bucks for the first year. I feel...See Full Post

I'm Feeling Guilty Because...

Posted: 2013-07-31 10:56 AM
Feeling a bit guilty about sleeping with the neighbor's wife.

Hitting a parked car and not leaving a note. Oops my bad.

I'm feeling guilty today...See Full Post

Do You Mind If I Ask...

Posted: 2013-07-30 09:30 AM
Is your butt real? It just looks too plump.

Do you mind me asking if your boobs sag without a bra?

Are u pregnant or did you...See Full Post

My Family Is So Weird That ____.

Posted: 2013-07-24 09:37 AM
My family is so weird that we have synced pooping schedules. Three times a day for about 17 minutes, we poop together - in each...See Full Post

My Best Friend Doesn't Know...

Posted: 2013-07-23 09:32 AM
My best friend has NO idea that I absolutely CANNOT STAND her kids.

My best friend from high school doesn't know I lost my virginity to...See Full Post

My Own Personal Record...

Posted: 2013-07-22 09:40 AM
I threw up in 4 states at one time (4 Corners in SW USA).

I believe I hold the record for being charged with 57...See Full Post

It's So Hot Outside....

Posted: 2013-07-19 09:46 AM
It's so hot outside - I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.

It's so hot out that Siri just asked to be dipped in a glass...See Full Post

Why You Wouldn't Date You

Posted: 2013-07-18 09:35 AM
I have toe fingers. I bite my nails so much that my fingernails get short to the point of nonexistence.

I require too much attention and...See Full Post

Why Do I Have That Memorized?

Posted: 2013-07-17 09:47 AM
I had to memorize all 50 states in alphabetical order and can recite them to this day!

I can still sing Head Shoulders Knees and Toes...See Full Post

It Goes On At Work, But No One Knows

Posted: 2013-07-16 09:53 AM
We keep an "idiot file" on one of my coworkers.
I fooled around with a coworker on the boss's desk. The boss has no clue!

My Friday...See Full Post

I'm Secretly Mad at My Spouse Because...

Posted: 2013-07-10 09:30 AM
He drives me NUTS with his alarm clock. It goes off 20 times until I finally have to hit him and say "wake up!" -...See Full Post

If I Could Go Back and Do It Differently...

Posted: 2013-07-08 09:32 AM
I would NOT major in Scandinavian Studies...

All my childhood haircuts!

I would NOT have pierced my hooha!

That "one last shot" of tequila on the 4th of...See Full Post

Why did you need therapy?

Posted: 2013-06-26 08:36 AM
I fell off an ostrich during an ostrich race couldn't move my shoulder ad when I told the physical therapist she didn't believe it.

To prove...See Full Post

The Best Text Compliment Ever

Posted: 2013-06-24 09:44 AM
I like your butt. Can I wear it as a hat?

"You're adorkable."

She texted me "You, me 5 minutes...bathroom."

Your boobs look great today.

"Hanging out with you...See Full Post

What Did He or She Do Without Your Permission?

Posted: 2013-06-21 10:36 AM
He spent $6000 on a 1976 pile of rust that he was gonna "fix up" when I was 6 months pregnant. That was our savings!

He...See Full Post

What Changed When You Got Married?

Posted: 2013-06-20 10:27 AM
Bathroom door stopped shutting during moments that should remain behind closed doors (the husband- not me!)

The type of gifts changed, for Christmas I catch myself...See Full Post

The Most Disturbing Thing I Saw This Weekend...

Posted: 2013-06-17 09:51 AM
The dozen plus flies I saw this morning on our air conditioner unit after an unfortunate creature met his untimely death in the blades of...See Full Post

My Awkward Third Wheel Story

Posted: 2013-06-13 10:36 AM
I was a 3rd wheel when my friend and her new bf and I went to dinner. I ended up being the designated driver and...See Full Post

My Dumb Moment

Posted: 2013-06-11 09:43 AM
I thought all of the I DOT trucks said "Idiot" on them.

I asked my mom if Thanksgiving was on Friday this year, because it was...See Full Post

Did I Ever Tell You About the Time...?

Posted: 2013-06-06 09:35 AM
Did I ever tell you about the time I got so drunk in Rome that I threw up on the Vatican Wall?

When my one and...See Full Post

A Unique Golf Outing Foursome

Posted: 2013-06-05 08:51 AM
2 Kings Fans and 2 Hawks Fans.

2 Strippers with 2 Nuns!

Melissa with three single men!

A Sugar Daddy and his young squeeze and a Cougar and...See Full Post

I'm Embarrassed By...

Posted: 2013-06-04 09:35 AM
My lack of boobs.

I am embarrassed by the length of my second toe! Way too long.

I'm embarrassed that I am dating a 22 year old...See Full Post

Your Prank That Went Wrong

Posted: 2013-05-30 10:55 AM
Our senior year we put goldfish and frogs in all the school toilets. The principal caught us and made us fish them ALL OUT. Hands...See Full Post

The Things You Shouldn't Know After the First Date.

Posted: 2013-05-28 09:42 AM
That he "has bed bug bites all over his body."

That his little man doesn't always work.

He told me that he lost a testicle in a...See Full Post

The Secret a Women Should Never Reveal

Posted: 2013-05-24 10:22 AM
How often you fly solo.

How much money your parents have.

The age of your implants.

All of the secret places that require hair removal.

That you're going to...See Full Post

I Knew I'd Made a Bad Decision When...

Posted: 2013-05-23 09:44 AM
Cutting down a tree with a chain saw, standing on a ladder leaning against the same tree. Whoops...

After the first push during natural childbirth, I...See Full Post

The Biggest Secret You're Keeping

Posted: 2013-05-22 09:45 AM
I've never told my fiancee that I got a nose job before we met.

I have been dating someone in my office for 4 years and...See Full Post

Your Unique Golf Outing Ideas

Posted: 2013-05-21 09:36 AM

Bozo Buckets Bonanza, but you use a wedge to chip into coolers spaced 10 yards apart.

Sumo wrestling. Rent the...See Full Post

How Do You Show That You Care?

Posted: 2013-05-17 09:39 AM
I clean the house. She loves it.

Grab his ass.

I put my boobs in his face.

Hand him the remote and a beer and then disappear.

I make...See Full Post

What Should Every Adult Woman Know How to Do?

Posted: 2013-05-16 13:21 PM
Say what she REALLY wants in bed!

Cook like his mother, but please him like all of his intimate fantasies.

A woman should know how to...See Full Post

What Topic Should We Talk About?

Posted: 2013-05-15 09:31 AM
Woke up and realized I wasted my money on...

Best way you got revenge on your ex. I'm looking for ideas. Kidding. Maybe.

Worst way to breakup...See Full Post

What Do You Always Have to Explain to People?

Posted: 2013-05-14 09:31 AM
I always have to explain to people how I had a heart attack when I was 17.

I always have to explain why I have a...See Full Post

Dumbest Fight with My Spouse

Posted: 2013-05-10 09:37 AM
Huge day long fight about whether or not you can paint a barn blue instead of red...we don't have a barn and never will. This...See Full Post

Flirting Tips...

Posted: 2013-05-09 09:29 AM
Use this line: "Are you going to look this good when I take you out to dinner Friday night?"

Watch The Notebook and Crazy Stupid Love...See Full Post

Every man should know ____!

Posted: 2013-05-07 09:28 AM
Know when to shut up.

Just because I want a girls night out doesn't mean I want to cheat on you.

If I fart in my sleep,...See Full Post

Two Words That Make the Woman

Posted: 2013-05-03 11:22 AM
The T & the A make the woman

Heels and skirt

Low cut top and high high heels

The apron and panties

The brains and the bust!

The makeup and...See Full Post

Meanest Mean Girls

Posted: 2013-05-02 11:36 AM
In high school I would walk passed a girl I HATED and shout "I smell fish!"

I lived in a group home and didn't like one...See Full Post

How I Lost My Virginity.

Posted: 2013-05-01 09:32 AM
Lost my virginity to my first boyfriend in his mom's trailer home.

I lost my virginity in my boyfriend's tree house near a squirrel he'd killed...See Full Post

The Things You Never Want to Hear Your Man Say...

Posted: 2013-04-30 09:32 AM
I'm gonna need clean underwear.

Wow. You do that almost as good as my ex!

I am asexual. .. I don't need to have sex. I am...See Full Post

The Gross Habit That You Keep a Secret

Posted: 2013-04-29 09:31 AM
Ever seen the SNL sketch "Superstar" where she smells her pit soaked hands? I do that with my crotch to make sure it doesn't smell...See Full Post

Your Random Observation...

Posted: 2013-04-26 08:10 AM
I just noticed that you can drive to Alaska.

Sweatpants were made for exercise but they are used for the exact opposite purpose!

Why are adults copying...See Full Post

Your Most Embarrassing Moment in School...

Posted: 2013-04-25 09:43 AM
I was sleeping in class and I farted in my sleep and the whole class started laughing even the teacher and I never lived that...See Full Post

The Mortifying Secret He Told His Friends About You!

Posted: 2013-04-24 10:42 AM
He told his friends I pass gas in my sleep, and did so in front of me!

He told his buddy I like to get spanked...See Full Post


Posted: 2013-04-23 09:31 AM
Is your ex really your "best friend" or do you just need to sleep together one more time?

Why do you know everyone else's ass is...See Full Post

I Wish I Could Un-Say...

Posted: 2013-04-22 09:39 AM
After years apart, I got back together with my ex-boyfriend and I impulsively said, "Was it always that small?"

In an argument with my boss I...See Full Post

What Do You Wish You Could Un-See?

Posted: 2013-04-17 08:43 AM
I would like to unsee the homeless man walking past Giordano's in downtown Chicago with his pants around his ankles.

I accidently walked in on my...See Full Post

My First Words After A Coma...

Posted: 2013-04-15 09:01 AM
Did the Cubs win the world series?

Did I miss Meatloaf's farewell tour?!?

I want Auerillo's Pizza.

I need a bikini wax.

I need a martini.

Are Dunkin Donuts iced...See Full Post

I Couldn't Believe My Eyes...

Posted: 2013-04-12 10:10 AM
I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked at my hand after I gave a high-five and there was poop on it

Couldn't believe my eyes...See Full Post

Your Biggest Spring Break Regret

Posted: 2013-04-10 09:49 AM
I let a male cheerleader from Duke eat a pop tart from between my legs during a pop tart eating contest

The water went out in...See Full Post

What's Your Biggest Family Secret?

Posted: 2013-04-09 09:40 AM
My wife's family kept a poop chart on vacation to see who pooped the most. At the end of the vacation they awarded a winner.

My...See Full Post

The Bad Pickup Line That Actually Worked

Posted: 2013-04-04 09:20 AM
I was at a bar once and a guy stopped me and said: you deserve a parking ticket. I naively asked "why? " and he...See Full Post

What Book Should Patrick Sharp Read Next?

Posted: 2013-03-29 09:51 AM
Born Standing Up by Steve Martin. Auto Biography about one of the funniest men of all time.

Jesse James: American Outlaw - Orange County Choppers Rise...See Full Post

What Lie Are You Living?

Posted: 2013-03-28 09:32 AM
My boyfriend thinks my divorce was finalized a while ago but it isn't yet, haven't told him I'm still legally married

My confession: I'm the one...See Full Post

What Makes Him Husband Material?

Posted: 2013-03-27 08:43 AM
Marriage material would consist of a man who would not hesitate a foot rub for his lady even if her feet were a little ripe.

He...See Full Post

Random Questions for NBC 5 Chicago's Cheryl Scott

Posted: 2013-03-26 08:15 AM
What one thing have you done that you never want your Mom to find out about?

Cheryl Scott who are you dating?

Which fellow newscaster/ meteorologist would...See Full Post

Totally Useless Facts

Posted: 2013-03-25 09:45 AM
Vending machines Kill more people than sharks

Kangaroos have no bellybuttons.

Mark Wahlberg has 3 nipples

In Disney's animated movie Alladin, the producers were going to use Michael...See Full Post

The Reason I Got a Divorce...

Posted: 2013-03-22 08:35 AM
He was a heavy mouth breather.
He chewed his too loudly!

He pulled my nipple ring out during the "nasty".

He smelled like butt all the time, even...See Full Post

The Habit I Need to Break

Posted: 2013-03-20 09:00 AM
Continuously checking my ex's Facebook and driving by his house.

I need to stop scratching my back on the corners of walls!

Watching adult videos while commuting...See Full Post

What should Chewbacca do in Mexico?

Posted: 2013-03-20 06:05 AM
Chewbacca should Belly Flop with Big Dave!

Walter needs to take a body shot off Chewbacca.

Chewbacca should do water aerobics.

Make Chewie do the Gangmam Style Dance!

I'd...See Full Post

When it comes to men, what's your #1 rule?

Posted: 2013-03-14 08:46 AM
Don't be more sensitive than me. I already have a vagina, don't need two!

He must have bigger thighs than me.

He can't have a hairy butt

He...See Full Post

The 2013 Mexican Bucket of Dares!

Posted: 2013-03-13 08:10 AM
Our listener, Walter, will have to complete some of these dares during Chips, Dip, and a Mexico Trip... Cuatro!

The Dares

Jersey Turnpike with 3 random beach...See Full Post

My High Maintenance Man...

Posted: 2013-03-12 10:15 AM
My husband is so high maintenance he has his own tanning bed in our home!

He has to have his jeans dry cleaned and when he...See Full Post

Secrets women keep from men...

Posted: 2013-03-11 08:41 AM
We check out other men just like you check out other women.

I think my Hubbie would look better bald, so I've added hair relaxer to...See Full Post

I'm the Only One That Never Knew ____!

Posted: 2013-03-07 10:52 AM
I'm the only one who didn't know Keith Urban was Australian until he spoke on TV.

That Santa in "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus" was...See Full Post

I Can't Believe I Saw...

Posted: 2013-03-06 10:30 AM
A 6'3" man wearing cammo, sporting an awesome mullet, walking down the road with three chihuahuas wearing tutus.

I saw an actual sheep walking down...See Full Post


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