What Put You On the Naughty List?
Posted: 2014-12-19 07:26 AMI got put on the naughty list by tweeting to my 17 year old son. Completely
embarrassing, you know. Now I am blocked from his...See Full Post
The Moment You Realized It Was Over
Posted: 2014-12-16 09:47 AMWhen he told me that the only reason he stayed with me was because of my butt.
When she returned her spaghetti at a restaurant cause...See Full Post
The Thing You Are Known For That You Wish You Weren't
Posted: 2014-12-02 09:51 AMTeachers called me acid girl in high school cuz I stuck my arm in acid accidentally in Chemistry. Subsequently everyone thought I was a drug...See Full Post
The 3 Words That Describe My Thanksgiving
Posted: 2014-12-01 09:53 AMFat drunk happy
Caught wife cheating
Mom flipped table
Excruciating painful diarrhea
Polish uncle's moonshine
I Got Dumped
Uncomfortable table talk
Punched my sister
Nearly split pants.
Huge food orgy
Unplanned home birth
Dog ate turkey
Santa...See Full Post
What Interesting Thing Are You Thankful For This Year?
Posted: 2014-11-25 09:34 AMI am thankful for my vasectomy.
I'm thankful for Netflix auto play. I don't even have to move.
I am thankful that I finally found a bra...See Full Post
What's the best way to ask for a sexy pic?
Posted: 2014-11-17 09:00 AMI wouldn't mind seeing how sexy you look right now.
Hey, boob me.
So how's my girl looking today!?
Let me see what I'm missing...
Slip me a nip?
Hey...See Full Post
One word to describe the first time you saw
Posted: 2014-11-10 09:33 AMGargantuan!
Burro (Donkey in Spanish)
The Text You Would Love to Wake Up To
Posted: 2014-11-05 10:09 AMPants off dance off!
Gotta be honest with you, When I think about how lucky I am to have you in my life it makes me...See Full Post
The Weird Thing He or She Asked Me...
Posted: 2014-10-30 10:33 AMShe asked me to pretend to be a burglar who takes full advantage of her.
While watching a "Saw" movie, my boyfriend asked me which leg...See Full Post
Our Epic Fight
Posted: 2014-10-28 09:43 AMI changed my mind after telling him he could wear a Hawaiian shirt on our
wedding day. Big mistake.
Got into a huge fight about whether...See Full Post
The Thing I Blurted Out
Posted: 2014-10-21 09:54 AM"You can't go to Ireland with that nose!" Said to a friend who was saving money to travel abroad.
Referring to my mother-in-laws cooking. "Is this...See Full Post
The Worst Place I've Done It
Posted: 2014-10-17 09:33 AMIn a forest. It was impromptu so had no blanket. Holy cow - painful!!!!
On a roof with 95 degree weather. Hot tar, yuck!
In the back...See Full Post
Man, I Hope No One Sees Me...
Posted: 2014-10-09 09:30 AMPut on my spanks.
I hope no one ever sees me pee in the shower.
Plucking my chin hair.
Chew my toenails.
Man, I hope now ever sees me...See Full Post
My Unique Man Brag
Posted: 2014-10-03 10:46 AMI'm 9 months pregnant can't reach the bum so he wipes.
My hubby can balance just about anything on his chin from a beer bottle to...See Full Post
I Just Want to Tell My Spouse...
Posted: 2014-10-01 09:36 AMI want to tell my spouse, "Fat, dumb and stupid is no way to live your life."
I want to tell my spouse that I use...See Full Post
The Moment We Love to Reminisce About
Posted: 2014-09-29 09:36 AMThe time my friends and I were in Denny's when two elderly men had a full on fist fight. The one man pushed the other...See Full Post
The Random Reason We Broke Up
Posted: 2014-09-19 15:30 PMHe smelled like soup all the time.
Because he would always put his socks in the laundry...INSIDE OUT!!!! Made me irrationally crazy!!
She urinated on me...See Full Post
The Random, Stupid Thing That's Annoying Me
Posted: 2014-09-17 11:03 AMWhen couples post every single thing they do and make it seem like they're so in love. It's like shut up keep some stuff to...See Full Post
When I was a kid I used to think...
Posted: 2014-09-09 12:24 PMI used to think pickles were made from alligators.
I always used to think that the world was actually black-and-white because
all the pictures were black-and-white...See Full Post
My Unfortunate Name
Posted: 2014-09-08 09:34 AMMy dad's full name is Harold Richard. He was always called Dick, and had the
nickname Harry Dick.
Lorialice. People pronounce as Laura lice. It is...See Full Post
Your Hillbilly Labor Day Weekend
Posted: 2014-09-02 10:11 AMDuring my hillbilly weekend, I got kicked in the kneecap by a cow.
One family member stood by the creek while we all took shots at...See Full Post
The Question You've Always Wanted to Ask Mark Suppelsa
Posted: 2014-08-28 09:21 AMAt the beach do you choose Swim trunks, a Speedo or a Mankini?
What is the biggest on air mistake or blooper Mark has ever done?
Have...See Full Post
What Women Talk About When Men Are NOT Around
Posted: 2014-08-25 09:59 AMMen and how annoying the are.
Waxing your "downstairs".
We talk about our boyfriend's embarrassing moments during sex.
The UPS man
In a sex change operation what...See Full Post
The Craziest Thing I Did For Money
Posted: 2014-08-21 10:15 AMI put a used condom found on the ground in my mouth for $100. Not proud.
I strolled casually through a mall wearing nothing but knee-high...See Full Post
The Weird Thing I'm Into
Posted: 2014-08-20 09:41 AMMy husband likes footjobs-- you know like a hand one but with my feet.
My ex husband wanted me to suck on his eyeballs and crack...See Full Post
The Forbidden Compliment You Want to Give
Posted: 2014-08-13 09:44 AMI am a nanny and the husband is very large and muscular and I want to tell him how much I enjoy gawking at his...See Full Post
The Craziest Thing I Did To Get His/Her Attention
Posted: 2014-08-11 09:45 AMMy husband was ignoring me so I walked up the entire driveway backwards,
I sent him a whole bunch of sloth memes...all with sexual...See Full Post
The Strangest Thing I Heard This Weekend
Posted: 2014-08-04 09:44 AMWhen the sperm is inside you, does it feel like a nice massage?
He sleeps so hard he won't even wake up for a goat giving...See Full Post
My Relationship White Lie
Posted: 2014-07-30 09:53 AMI hired a DJ for our wedding...my fiance doesn't know about the one night stand the DJ and I had...
My white lie to him is...See Full Post
Gossip Got Me in Trouble
Posted: 2014-07-24 10:11 AMI said that my friend had an extra set of nipples when we were in middle school - the rumor followed her until we graduated...See Full Post
The Unreasonable Argument We're Having...
Posted: 2014-07-22 09:59 AMI'm mad at him this morning because his ex girlfriend changed her profile picture.
He threw a sponge at the cat.
He chews too loud and I...See Full Post
I hope my BFF never tells the story about...
Posted: 2014-07-18 09:43 AMI slept with our other best friends brother and she's the only one that doesn't know.
The time we went to the apartment of two Jamaican...See Full Post
I Was So Jealous I...
Posted: 2014-07-16 13:52 PMI had 2 cameras installed at his place.
I read my boyfriend (now husband's) emails because I thought he was emailing a woman... Turns out he...See Full Post
4 Words to Describe Your Butt
Posted: 2014-07-14 11:38 AMHard but very Hairy
A jiggly voluptuous badonkadonk
Titanium alloy hotdog buns
Undefined flat mom butt
Moldy putrid cottage cheese
Just ripe fuzzy peach
Superhero! Zap - Pow - Bam!
Flat pimply...See Full Post
Your Random Thought Right Now
Posted: 2014-07-09 09:56 AMHow many times a day can I say "keep on trucking" before it's too many?
How do I tell my coworker that you can totally see...See Full Post
The Creepiest Thing Someone Randomly Said to Me...
Posted: 2014-07-08 09:47 AMStrangest thing said... "you have great child bearing hips" I was 21... Turned and walked away!
"I want to climb you like a tree." - said...See Full Post
I Hope It Never Happens Again...
Posted: 2014-07-07 10:03 AMWhen I was twelve I had the brilliant idea to swim in a pond and when I got out I had leeches stuck to my...See Full Post
Marriage Advice for Social Media Chris
Posted: 2014-06-17 09:51 AMBest piece of advice...hire a housekeeper! Drink wine instead of cleaning.
It's not okay to put a pillow over your spouse's face if they are snoring.
Sex...See Full Post
The Random Fact About Me
Posted: 2014-06-09 10:16 AMI have to keep a nickel with me at all times.
I have been married for 32 years and when my husband is out of town...See Full Post
The Lie You Told This Morning
Posted: 2014-06-03 09:37 AMI didn't see that email.
No, I didn't sleep with her this morning.
I said I'm late to work because of lady problems. They can't fight that!
Sorry...See Full Post
What should be this year's unique Golf Outing foursome?
Posted: 2014-06-02 09:27 AMSend a virgin out with 3 pole dancers.
Blackhawks fans and kings fans.
A guy with 3 of his ex-girlfriends.
The Plowtender, The Tampactress, Roger/Robert/Ralph, and Swany's wife.
A...See Full Post
What's Your Biggest Fear Right Now?
Posted: 2014-05-30 09:48 AMGoing to the doctor and being diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis.
My greatest fear is sneezing while driving. Because who knows what happens
during that one instance...See Full Post
What Chicago Blackhawks Player Should We Make Fun Of?
Posted: 2014-05-27 09:35 AMShawzer- his creepy stache/"beard". Plus, he's due for a winning goal!!
Brandon don't be Saad, be happy.
Kaner. He's so very fancy with the puck, he needs...See Full Post
What would you write in the Eric & Kathy yearbook?
Posted: 2014-05-21 09:49 AMBrittney will never be a CEO.
Fun times with Tinder! Have a great summer!
Lets be real... See you at the 10 year reunion.
I'll never forgot when...See Full Post
The Strange Thing That Happened at Prom...
Posted: 2014-05-19 09:42 AMWe had my prom on the odyssey cruise ship in Chicago. We brought fishing poles and started fishing off the back of the boat.
Went to...See Full Post
The Motto You Live By
Posted: 2014-05-14 09:48 AMLife's a bitch... And so am I
"Quit f***ing up."
Smarter not harder.
Poop it out.
Keep your mistakes reversible.
You're never too old to have a happy childhood!
You do...See Full Post
The Thing I'm Still Hiding from My Mom
Posted: 2014-05-12 09:49 AMI almost married a random in Vegas.
I was a nude model in college. She still thinks I just worked for the art
Flashed a bunch...See Full Post
Confessions from Dads
Posted: 2014-05-08 07:26 AMI smoke cigars with my 5 year old when my wife isn't home
I take my kid to the park and bring the iPad. I get...See Full Post
The Simplest Secret to a Successful Relationship
Posted: 2014-05-07 09:18 AMSex. It fixes everything for a man!! I've been with my husband for 26 years,
and it still works!
Work different shifts, you can't fight if...See Full Post
If We Got Married Where We Met...
Posted: 2014-05-05 09:41 AMLong John Silvers.
In a McDonald's drive thru.
A tow yard.
In a pickup truck in Africa.
I met my husband at the Rockhouse in Rolling Meadows....See Full Post
He Failed to Impress Me When He...
Posted: 2014-05-01 11:25 AMWhen he asked the waiter to split the tab on a first date.
He failed to impress me when he's 45 years old and wearing an...See Full Post
The Question You Want to Ask Your Spouse Anonymously
Posted: 2014-04-29 09:43 AMWhy do you REALLY want a 3rd kid?
Does my husband still have the 'videos' of his ex? And if so, does he still watch them?
Did...See Full Post
My friend is crazy because...
Posted: 2014-04-18 09:40 AMI have a friend who licks the wine bottle cork instead of smelling it when
the waiter hands it to her. So embarrassing.
Our best couple...See Full Post
Why I ended the date early...
Posted: 2014-04-16 09:48 AMHe talked for 45 minutes straight. At the 45 minute mark I stood up, nodded my head, and walked out...
We were eating dinner at Texas...See Full Post
I got so drunk on my first date...
Posted: 2014-04-14 09:42 AMI fell asleep in the shower with the water running.
I threw up in his car on the ride home!
My phone got stolen by a stripper.
I...See Full Post
Every woman ought to...
Posted: 2014-04-11 09:48 AMShop rodeo drive.
Learn to Change a tire.
See the Thunder Down Under!
Fill the bath tub with your favorite flavor of jello and jump in its refreshing...See Full Post
The Big Story You Wait to Tell Him or Her
Posted: 2014-04-08 09:44 AMI've eaten raccoon and it's my favorite meat.
I was held up with a shotgun.
Tell them that I'm married! But we swing so it's okay.
I've been...See Full Post
What message should we send to Big Karwowski's stolen iPad?
Posted: 2014-04-04 09:39 AM"This device will self destruct in 15 seconds." Then give a countdown.
That shirt doesn't match your outfit today.
I use my iPad in the bathroom. I...See Full Post
What's the Best Advice You've Ever Received?
Posted: 2014-04-03 09:29 AMSometimes the nicest thing you can do for her is to let her do something
nice for you.
Never give up the "back door" but make...See Full Post
My BIG Revelation
Posted: 2014-03-28 09:45 AMUntil my sister in law told me when I was about 35, I did not know eating asparagus caused an "odor".
I never realized that the...See Full Post
The Weird Thing On My Bucket List
Posted: 2014-03-24 09:32 AMDrive around the country in an rv for a year. I don't know how to drive an RV.
I wanna be a victim in a Rob...See Full Post
People Have a Hard Time Believing...
Posted: 2014-03-19 09:45 AMNo one can believe that I have a 22 year old and a 2 year old.
I was almost killed by a lion. While cleaning out...See Full Post
The Question You've Always Wanted Answered
Posted: 2014-03-13 09:43 AMWhy do men have nipples?
Is it normal to fart when you cough?
Is it "butt baked" or "buck naked"?
How can a door be ajar???
When you shave...See Full Post
The Day I Would Re-Live...
Posted: 2014-03-07 09:36 AMThe day I won $5,000 on a $3 scratch off when I just turned 21! It was a good
week that I dont remember.
If I...See Full Post
Just the Punchline
Posted: 2014-02-28 09:35 AMIt looks like you blew a seal!
No I said throw the first PITCH!
Ken comes in a different box.
Next time we massage you like old man.
Kermits...See Full Post
The Secret Your Keeping from Your Significant Other
Posted: 2014-02-20 14:48 PMI never told my fiancee I slept with her best friend right after we first
started dating and I called her friend her name in...See Full Post
3 Words to Describe Valentine's Day
Posted: 2014-02-14 09:26 AMSex, rinse, repeat
Heart Shaped Meatloaf
New "toy" date
Intense turtle racing
Wine and sweatpants
Party for two
Morning bathroom sex
Groovy Saucy Messy
Excited Hopeful Disappointed
husband forgot anniversary
drunkin debauchery guaranteed
Sore tomorrow morning
Giggity...See Full Post
The Time You Were Too Forward
Posted: 2014-02-12 09:38 AMI was drunk at a party and kept asking this very attractive girl to take pictures with people. Truthfully, I was taking close ups of...See Full Post
My Embarrassing Weekend Moment...
Posted: 2014-02-10 09:58 AMI moved in with my boyfriend this weekend - While the moving truck was there my mother grabs his hand and says with her thick...See Full Post
The Rumor I Want to Start...
Posted: 2014-02-07 09:35 AMI would like to start the rumor that the mother of Justin Timberlake's love
child is from Arlington Heights.
I heard Kim Kardashian is leaving Kanye...See Full Post
The dating Red Flag that you missed...
Posted: 2014-02-06 10:14 AMHe made me pay for my own dollar burger from Wendy's off the value menu.
He never mentioned his fiancee... We never went to his place,...See Full Post
I was so broke I ____.
Posted: 2014-02-05 09:46 AMI pawned my boyfriend's ex-fiancee's engagement ring. To be fair, it was very
small. He never noticed until I told him after we were married...See Full Post
The Memory I Want to Erase...
Posted: 2014-01-29 09:54 AMI would like to forget the time I went to Florida when I was 18 and pooped my
pants from drinking too much Captain Morgan.
Accidentally...See Full Post
The Lie I'm Living in the Middle of Right Now
Posted: 2014-01-23 09:27 AMMy 'I have a Dr. appointment' white lie somehow turned into my boyfriend thinking I have a serious medical condition but I was just getting...See Full Post
What's the weird situation in your office right now?
Posted: 2014-01-22 09:37 AMThe owner's son is dating the owner's secretary and the owner is dating his
I work with my ex husband's grandma. We've managed to...See Full Post
The Weirdest Dream You've Had Recently
Posted: 2014-01-21 09:53 AMWeird dream- Freddy Krueger and I were teamed up and I was helping him find people to torture. He left me alone as long as...See Full Post
The Weird Request You Received
Posted: 2014-01-15 09:41 AM"Hey, you wanna eat ten bananas in one sitting and see what happens?"
My ex bf asked me to choke him while we were making out....See Full Post
Your Unexpected Circumstance at Midnight on New Year's Eve
Posted: 2014-01-07 09:01 AMI was at a party and the boy I have been crushing on was there so my plan was to kiss him at midnight. Just...See Full Post
Your Unique New Year's Resolution for 2014
Posted: 2014-01-06 09:45 AMI resolve to live out at least 8 sexual fantasies (Karl, 70+)
My New Year's resolution is to have more fun in Cleveland. Had to move...See Full Post
Why are you on the Naughty List?
Posted: 2013-12-19 09:01 AMI sprinkle bird seed around my boss's really cool Mercedes do that birds crap
I backed my sister's 2012 Impala into a tree...See Full Post
The Most Unromantic Christmas Gift I've Ever Received
Posted: 2013-12-17 09:44 AMA CD organizer for my car that clips to the visor.
A gym membership.
Grocery store gift cards.
Socks and bowling shoes.
A mop, a bottle of lotion, and...See Full Post
What annoys you about your spouse's friends?
Posted: 2013-12-11 10:15 AMMy husband's friend 'Jimmy' that always drops by at dinner time, eats everything, drinks all our beer, then proceeds to make a huge stinky deposit...See Full Post
I'll admit it...
Posted: 2013-12-10 14:26 PMI got laser hair removal on my face.
I trim the bush to make the tree look taller.
I had that laser tightening surgery for a certain...See Full Post
My Worst Day at Work
Posted: 2013-12-06 09:56 AMI do scientific research and I started a fire in the lab, it was my first week working there! : (
Working at Target. One night...See Full Post
My Strange ER Visit
Posted: 2013-12-05 10:27 AMMy daughter jammed a button up her nose and we sat in ER for 3 hours to get it out.
My boyfriend turned and smashed his...See Full Post
She Needs an Attitude Adjustment Because...
Posted: 2013-12-02 09:48 AMHer complaining about "cramping", suck it up.
Because I need to get laid more.
Just because you made a dish for the Thanksgiving Potluck doesn't mean you...See Full Post
I know I'm going to regret ____.
Posted: 2013-11-21 09:42 AMTelling my wife she's getting "a little chunky"!
Believing Melissa's traffic report.
I know I'm gonna regret overselling myself in that job interview. They're about to
find...See Full Post
Your Big Family Secret
Posted: 2013-11-15 10:39 AMMy Grandmother has been dealing weed for 30 years.
My dad is adopted. We accidentally found the paperwork and no one wants to tell my grandma...See Full Post
The Thing He Does in the Bedroom to Turn Me Off
Posted: 2013-11-12 11:16 AMWhen he doesn't trim his nose hairs & they're hanging out. I actually have to get after him to trim them & stop tucking them...See Full Post
How I Paid Off the Bet I Lost...
Posted: 2013-11-06 07:40 AMI bet that pepper spray didn't have real pepper in it. I lost and had to get
pepper sprayed directly in the face.
I lost. She...See Full Post
The Idiotic Thing My Significant Other Said
Posted: 2013-11-04 09:52 AMMy husband said to me "you don't fold my socks the right way, like my mom".
Haven't folded his socks again. Going on 12 years...See Full Post
The line in your obituary that will blow us away.
Posted: 2013-10-29 09:56 AMShe was a celebrity for a few hours after she won a bikini contest at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas because she did the worm...See Full Post
The Skeleton in your Closet
Posted: 2013-10-25 09:39 AMNo one knows that I stuffed my bra with socks all through high school and college, until the one day I got "busted" on a...See Full Post
Your Freaky Strange Dream
Posted: 2013-10-24 09:33 AMI dreamt that my best friend was crying because her dog, Maddie, died. When I asked her what happened, she said "My boobs. My boobs...See Full Post
Your Catty Comment
Posted: 2013-10-23 07:07 AMMelissa's traffic reports are... interesting.
Ladies, Stop complaining about the looks you get when you wear yoga pants. It's not like you bought them for an...See Full Post
The Most Uncomfortable Place You've Done It
Posted: 2013-10-18 09:52 AMRow boat in the weeds on a small pond in Indiana.
Inside of a large concete sewer pipe prior to its installation along 294 in Deerfield.
The...See Full Post
I'd Like to Apologize...
Posted: 2013-10-15 09:52 AMI'm sorry I left my swass on the bench at the gym.
I'm sorry I told my husband he is "just like a woman".
I crop dusted...See Full Post
I Will NEVER Do This For My Significant Other
Posted: 2013-10-11 09:49 AMI will never watch another cowboy movie, army movie or Godfather movie.
We have 2 dogs, a cat, a ferret, and a turtle. I'm drawing the...See Full Post
You Won't Believe What I Got Away With...
Posted: 2013-10-10 09:55 AMI got away with sexting my wife's best friend.
I got away with having sex on the 50 yard line of my high school football field.
I...See Full Post
The Best Gossip You Heard From Your Man
Posted: 2013-10-07 09:46 AMHis brother 'opened up' his marriage.
My boyfriend told me that our 25 year-old friend is dating a 19 year old.
My husband's HR Department asked him...See Full Post
The Worst Best Man/Maid of Honor Speech
Posted: 2013-10-04 09:33 AMMy cousin got married and had his 16 year old son as best man. He stood up with sunglasses on, said "ugh...hi...dad...congrats...ok, bye." It was...See Full Post
The Question I'm Scared to Ask My Significant Other
Posted: 2013-10-02 09:37 AMHe was engaged to last girlfriend, but they broke it off. I want to know how he
proposed and what her ring looked like!
Have you broken...See Full Post
The thing I'm hiding from everyone else...
Posted: 2013-10-01 09:48 AMI'm 28 and I still pick my nose. All the time. Daily.
I accidentally just clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's place. So embarrassed!
I'm 30 years...See Full Post
My Weird, Random Thought...
Posted: 2013-09-27 09:38 AMFrom time to time I wonder if anyone has ever had one of THOSE kinds of dreams about me.
I wonder what Will Smith is...See Full Post
What does your significant other keep saying about his/her ex?
Posted: 2013-09-25 10:12 AMMy husband always talks about his ex the professional ballerina. Let's just say my body type and grace level could not be further from that...See Full Post
My Messed Up Relationship
Posted: 2013-09-23 09:35 AMI dated a guy for 3 years who had 2 restraining orders against him from his last 2 girlfriends. I ended up being the 3rd...See Full Post
What crazy thing has your boss said to you?
Posted: 2013-09-17 09:30 AMYour hair looks really nice down but it would look nicer down spread across my pillows at home instead of here in the restaurant.
What's wrong...See Full Post
What should Jay Cutler text to Brian Urlacher about his retirement?
Posted: 2013-09-13 09:35 AMAnyway, lets do lunch! How's about mid February? I'll show you my Super Bowl ring.
Sorry Boo- let's go get some mani/pedis when the seasons over-...See Full Post
Marry, Sleep With, Push Off a Cliff
Posted: 2013-09-11 09:49 AMRob Elgas, Mark Suppelsa, Whip
George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper
Gary Bussey, Andy Dick, Justin Bieber
Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes
Leno, Letterman, Kimmel
Steve Buscemi, Macauley Culkin,...See Full Post
I Had to Stop Dating Him/Her Because...
Posted: 2013-09-10 09:34 AM...I found the used condoms under his bed that weren't from us.
I had to stop dating her cause she liked to carry out full conversations...See Full Post
Your Weekend Drama in One Sentence
Posted: 2013-09-09 09:38 AMMy poor dog got sprayed by a skunk right before bed.
The new guy I'm dating who got so drunk at my family party that he...See Full Post
The Strangest Thing You've Seen That Defies Explanation
Posted: 2013-09-05 09:37 AMA middle aged woman got on the bus wearing a full gas mask that covered her whole head.
While in Starbucks enjoying my latte, the 20...See Full Post
Your Most Unexpected Compliment
Posted: 2013-09-04 09:47 AMAt Renaissance Faire a lady came up to me and said... "You have an amazing thigh, can I take a picture of it?"
When I was...See Full Post
How do you keep it Hot & Spicy?
Posted: 2013-09-03 10:17 AMTo keep things hot I treat her like a stripper. Like a dirty, dirty stripper. The dirtier the better.
What day is it? Tongue only Tuesday....See Full Post
The Embarrassing Thing About My Ex...
Posted: 2013-08-28 08:59 AMMy ex boyfriend used to reenact WWE wrestling matches with his friends and
video tape them.... they would try to get the girlfriends involved too.
My...See Full Post
The BIG Secret You've Been Keeping...
Posted: 2013-08-27 09:33 AMMy own secret. I'm pregnant by my boyfriend, but can't tell anyone because I'm not divorced yet.
My coworker of 6 years is about to get...See Full Post
The Best Advice I Ever Received...
Posted: 2013-08-26 09:34 AMIt may be the motion of the ocean, but you cannot get to England in a Row Boat.
Best advice- never have sex with a crazy.
My...See Full Post
What Goes Through Your Mind When He Talks About His Ex?
Posted: 2013-08-23 09:41 AMI bet I'm prettier and have a better body than her ;)
I just think "Dumb bitch. You lost him and he's mine." :)
So, why...See Full Post
The Crazy Thing I Did On A Night Out
Posted: 2013-08-15 09:37 AMWe went through taco bell drive thru topless.
I got a tattoo of a strangers lip print on my neck.
I punched my best friend in the...See Full Post
I'm glad when a woman ____.
Posted: 2013-08-13 10:19 AMI'm always happy when a woman directs me during playtime.
Picks up the tab and pulls down the trows...
I love it when a woman gives me...See Full Post
I'm Glad When a Guy ____!
Posted: 2013-08-12 09:28 AMI love it when a man... Leaves the room to fart.
Knows how to use his tongue!
Takes a damn shower!
Defends his girlfriend no matter what.
Doesn't leave...See Full Post
People Hate Me Because
Posted: 2013-08-09 09:31 AMPeople hate me because after having 2 kids I left the hospital wearing my normal size 6 jeans. I gained 30 pounds with each child...See Full Post
I'm Sick of Hearing My Partner Say...
Posted: 2013-08-08 09:26 AM"I wanna be in you" ...not bad the first time you hear it, but 47 times in the same day?
Just let me do it once...See Full Post
The Most Romantic Thing He/She Has Done...
Posted: 2013-08-06 09:55 AMI texted him this: I love you. That's all. He responded: I love you. That is everything!
My girlfriend made a board game of our date...See Full Post
We Are Currently Fighting About...
Posted: 2013-08-05 09:27 AMBoyfriend miscalculated traveling time to a wedding in WI Didn't check in at the hotel early, I only had 10 minutes to get ready. I...See Full Post
My #1 Rule When Dating a Man
Posted: 2013-08-02 09:34 AMMy dating rule is he MUST like hot pockets and beer.
My rule is no gifts over around fifty bucks for the first year. I feel...See Full Post
I'm Feeling Guilty Because...
Posted: 2013-07-31 10:56 AMFeeling a bit guilty about sleeping with the neighbor's wife.
Hitting a parked car and not leaving a note. Oops my bad.
I'm feeling guilty today...See Full Post
Do You Mind If I Ask...
Posted: 2013-07-30 09:30 AMIs your butt real? It just looks too plump.
Do you mind me asking if your boobs sag without a bra?
Are u pregnant or did you...See Full Post
My Family Is So Weird That ____.
Posted: 2013-07-24 09:37 AMMy family is so weird that we have synced pooping schedules. Three times a day for about 17 minutes, we poop together - in each...See Full Post
My Best Friend Doesn't Know...
Posted: 2013-07-23 09:32 AMMy best friend has NO idea that I absolutely CANNOT STAND her kids.
My best friend from high school doesn't know I lost my virginity to...See Full Post
My Own Personal Record...
Posted: 2013-07-22 09:40 AMI threw up in 4 states at one time (4 Corners in SW USA).
I believe I hold the record for being charged with 57...See Full Post
It's So Hot Outside....
Posted: 2013-07-19 09:46 AMIt's so hot outside - I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.
It's so hot out that Siri just asked to be dipped in a glass...See Full Post
Why You Wouldn't Date You
Posted: 2013-07-18 09:35 AMI have toe fingers. I bite my nails so much that my fingernails get short to the point of nonexistence.
I require too much attention and...See Full Post
Why Do I Have That Memorized?
Posted: 2013-07-17 09:47 AMI had to memorize all 50 states in alphabetical order and can recite them to this day!
I can still sing Head Shoulders Knees and Toes...See Full Post
It Goes On At Work, But No One Knows
Posted: 2013-07-16 09:53 AMWe keep an "idiot file" on one of my coworkers.
I fooled around with a coworker on the boss's desk. The boss has no clue!
My Friday...See Full Post
I'm Secretly Mad at My Spouse Because...
Posted: 2013-07-10 09:30 AMHe drives me NUTS with his alarm clock. It goes off 20 times until I finally have to hit him and say "wake up!" -...See Full Post
If I Could Go Back and Do It Differently...
Posted: 2013-07-08 09:32 AMI would NOT major in Scandinavian Studies...
All my childhood haircuts!
I would NOT have pierced my hooha!
That "one last shot" of tequila on the 4th of...See Full Post
Why did you need therapy?
Posted: 2013-06-26 08:36 AMI fell off an ostrich during an ostrich race couldn't move my shoulder ad when I told the physical therapist she didn't believe it.
To prove...See Full Post
The Best Text Compliment Ever
Posted: 2013-06-24 09:44 AMI like your butt. Can I wear it as a hat?
She texted me "You, me 5 minutes...bathroom."
Your boobs look great today.
"Hanging out with you...See Full Post
What Did He or She Do Without Your Permission?
Posted: 2013-06-21 10:36 AMHe spent $6000 on a 1976 pile of rust that he was gonna "fix up" when I was 6 months pregnant. That was our savings!
He...See Full Post
What Changed When You Got Married?
Posted: 2013-06-20 10:27 AMBathroom door stopped shutting during moments that should remain behind closed doors (the husband- not me!)
The type of gifts changed, for Christmas I catch myself...See Full Post
The Most Disturbing Thing I Saw This Weekend...
Posted: 2013-06-17 09:51 AMThe dozen plus flies I saw this morning on our air conditioner unit after an unfortunate creature met his untimely death in the blades of...See Full Post
My Awkward Third Wheel Story
Posted: 2013-06-13 10:36 AMI was a 3rd wheel when my friend and her new bf and I went to dinner. I ended up being the designated driver and...See Full Post
My Dumb Moment
Posted: 2013-06-11 09:43 AMI thought all of the I DOT trucks said "Idiot" on them.
I asked my mom if Thanksgiving was on Friday this year, because it was...See Full Post
Did I Ever Tell You About the Time...?
Posted: 2013-06-06 09:35 AMDid I ever tell you about the time I got so drunk in Rome that I threw up on the Vatican Wall?
When my one and...See Full Post
A Unique Golf Outing Foursome
Posted: 2013-06-05 08:51 AM2 Kings Fans and 2 Hawks Fans.
2 Strippers with 2 Nuns!
Melissa with three single men!
A Sugar Daddy and his young squeeze and a Cougar and...See Full Post
I'm Embarrassed By...
Posted: 2013-06-04 09:35 AMMy lack of boobs.
I am embarrassed by the length of my second toe! Way too long.
I'm embarrassed that I am dating a 22 year old...See Full Post
Your Prank That Went Wrong
Posted: 2013-05-30 10:55 AMOur senior year we put goldfish and frogs in all the school toilets. The principal caught us and made us fish them ALL OUT. Hands...See Full Post
The Things You Shouldn't Know After the First Date.
Posted: 2013-05-28 09:42 AMThat he "has bed bug bites all over his body."
That his little man doesn't always work.
He told me that he lost a testicle in a...See Full Post
The Secret a Women Should Never Reveal
Posted: 2013-05-24 10:22 AMHow often you fly solo.
How much money your parents have.
The age of your implants.
All of the secret places that require hair removal.
That you're going to...See Full Post
I Knew I'd Made a Bad Decision When...
Posted: 2013-05-23 09:44 AMCutting down a tree with a chain saw, standing on a ladder leaning against the same tree. Whoops...
After the first push during natural childbirth, I...See Full Post
The Biggest Secret You're Keeping
Posted: 2013-05-22 09:45 AMI've never told my fiancee that I got a nose job before we met.
I have been dating someone in my office for 4 years and...See Full Post
Your Unique Golf Outing Ideas
Posted: 2013-05-21 09:36 AMWET T-SHIRT CONTEST ON THE PUTTING GREEN!
Bozo Buckets Bonanza, but you use a wedge to chip into coolers spaced 10 yards apart.
Sumo wrestling. Rent the...See Full Post
How Do You Show That You Care?
Posted: 2013-05-17 09:39 AMI clean the house. She loves it.
Grab his ass.
I put my boobs in his face.
Hand him the remote and a beer and then disappear.
I make...See Full Post
What Should Every Adult Woman Know How to Do?
Posted: 2013-05-16 13:21 PMSay what she REALLY wants in bed!
Cook like his mother, but please him like all of his intimate fantasies.
A woman should know how to...See Full Post
What Topic Should We Talk About?
Posted: 2013-05-15 09:31 AMWoke up and realized I wasted my money on...
Best way you got revenge on your ex. I'm looking for ideas. Kidding. Maybe.
Worst way to breakup...See Full Post
What Do You Always Have to Explain to People?
Posted: 2013-05-14 09:31 AMI always have to explain to people how I had a heart attack when I was 17.
I always have to explain why I have a...See Full Post
Dumbest Fight with My Spouse
Posted: 2013-05-10 09:37 AMHuge day long fight about whether or not you can paint a barn blue instead of red...we don't have a barn and never will. This...See Full Post
Posted: 2013-05-09 09:29 AMUse this line: "Are you going to look this good when I take you out to dinner Friday night?"
Watch The Notebook and Crazy Stupid Love...See Full Post
Every man should know ____!
Posted: 2013-05-07 09:28 AMKnow when to shut up.
Just because I want a girls night out doesn't mean I want to cheat on you.
If I fart in my sleep,...See Full Post
Two Words That Make the Woman
Posted: 2013-05-03 11:22 AMThe T & the A make the woman
Heels and skirt
Low cut top and high high heels
The apron and panties
The brains and the bust!
The makeup and...See Full Post
Meanest Mean Girls
Posted: 2013-05-02 11:36 AMIn high school I would walk passed a girl I HATED and shout "I smell fish!"
I lived in a group home and didn't like one...See Full Post
How I Lost My Virginity.
Posted: 2013-05-01 09:32 AMLost my virginity to my first boyfriend in his mom's trailer home.
I lost my virginity in my boyfriend's tree house near a squirrel he'd killed...See Full Post
The Things You Never Want to Hear Your Man Say...
Posted: 2013-04-30 09:32 AMI'm gonna need clean underwear.
Wow. You do that almost as good as my ex!
I am asexual. .. I don't need to have sex. I am...See Full Post
The Gross Habit That You Keep a Secret
Posted: 2013-04-29 09:31 AMEver seen the SNL sketch "Superstar" where she smells her pit soaked hands? I do that with my crotch to make sure it doesn't smell...See Full Post
Your Random Observation...
Posted: 2013-04-26 08:10 AMI just noticed that you can drive to Alaska.
Sweatpants were made for exercise but they are used for the exact opposite purpose!
Why are adults copying...See Full Post
Your Most Embarrassing Moment in School...
Posted: 2013-04-25 09:43 AMI was sleeping in class and I farted in my sleep and the whole class started laughing even the teacher and I never lived that...See Full Post
The Mortifying Secret He Told His Friends About You!
Posted: 2013-04-24 10:42 AMHe told his friends I pass gas in my sleep, and did so in front of me!
He told his buddy I like to get spanked...See Full Post
Posted: 2013-04-23 09:31 AMIs your ex really your "best friend" or do you just need to sleep together one more time?
Why do you know everyone else's ass is...See Full Post
I Wish I Could Un-Say...
Posted: 2013-04-22 09:39 AMAfter years apart, I got back together with my ex-boyfriend and I impulsively said, "Was it always that small?"
In an argument with my boss I...See Full Post
What Do You Wish You Could Un-See?
Posted: 2013-04-17 08:43 AMI would like to unsee the homeless man walking past Giordano's in downtown Chicago with his pants around his ankles.
I accidently walked in on my...See Full Post
My First Words After A Coma...
Posted: 2013-04-15 09:01 AMDid the Cubs win the world series?
Did I miss Meatloaf's farewell tour?!?
I want Auerillo's Pizza.
I need a bikini wax.
I need a martini.
Are Dunkin Donuts iced...See Full Post
I Couldn't Believe My Eyes...
Posted: 2013-04-12 10:10 AMI couldn't believe my eyes when I looked at my hand after I gave a high-five and there was poop on it
Couldn't believe my eyes...See Full Post
Your Biggest Spring Break Regret
Posted: 2013-04-10 09:49 AMI let a male cheerleader from Duke eat a pop tart from between my legs during a pop tart eating contest
The water went out in...See Full Post
What's Your Biggest Family Secret?
Posted: 2013-04-09 09:40 AMMy wife's family kept a poop chart on vacation to see who pooped the most. At the end of the vacation they awarded a winner.
My...See Full Post
The Bad Pickup Line That Actually Worked
Posted: 2013-04-04 09:20 AMI was at a bar once and a guy stopped me and said: you deserve a parking ticket. I naively asked "why? " and he...See Full Post
What Book Should Patrick Sharp Read Next?
Posted: 2013-03-29 09:51 AMBorn Standing Up by Steve Martin. Auto Biography about one of the funniest men of all time.
Jesse James: American Outlaw - Orange County Choppers Rise...See Full Post
What Lie Are You Living?
Posted: 2013-03-28 09:32 AMMy boyfriend thinks my divorce was finalized a while ago but it isn't yet, haven't told him I'm still legally married
My confession: I'm the one...See Full Post
What Makes Him Husband Material?
Posted: 2013-03-27 08:43 AMMarriage material would consist of a man who would not hesitate a foot rub for his lady even if her feet were a little ripe.
He...See Full Post
Random Questions for NBC 5 Chicago's Cheryl Scott
Posted: 2013-03-26 08:15 AMWhat one thing have you done that you never want your Mom to find out about?
Cheryl Scott who are you dating?
Which fellow newscaster/ meteorologist would...See Full Post
Totally Useless Facts
Posted: 2013-03-25 09:45 AMVending machines Kill more people than sharks
Kangaroos have no bellybuttons.
Mark Wahlberg has 3 nipples
In Disney's animated movie Alladin, the producers were going to use Michael...See Full Post
The Reason I Got a Divorce...
Posted: 2013-03-22 08:35 AMHe was a heavy mouth breather.
He chewed his too loudly!
He pulled my nipple ring out during the "nasty".
He smelled like butt all the time, even...See Full Post
The Habit I Need to Break
Posted: 2013-03-20 09:00 AMContinuously checking my ex's Facebook and driving by his house.
I need to stop scratching my back on the corners of walls!
Watching adult videos while commuting...See Full Post
What should Chewbacca do in Mexico?
Posted: 2013-03-20 06:05 AMChewbacca should Belly Flop with Big Dave!
Walter needs to take a body shot off Chewbacca.
Chewbacca should do water aerobics.
Make Chewie do the Gangmam Style Dance!
I'd...See Full Post
When it comes to men, what's your #1 rule?
Posted: 2013-03-14 08:46 AMDon't be more sensitive than me. I already have a vagina, don't need two!
He must have bigger thighs than me.
He can't have a hairy butt
He...See Full Post
The 2013 Mexican Bucket of Dares!
Posted: 2013-03-13 08:10 AMOur listener, Walter, will have to complete some of these dares during Chips, Dip, and a Mexico Trip... Cuatro!
Jersey Turnpike with 3 random beach...See Full Post
My High Maintenance Man...
Posted: 2013-03-12 10:15 AMMy husband is so high maintenance he has his own tanning bed in our home!
He has to have his jeans dry cleaned and when he...See Full Post
Secrets women keep from men...
Posted: 2013-03-11 08:41 AMWe check out other men just like you check out other women.
I think my Hubbie would look better bald, so I've added hair relaxer to...See Full Post
I'm the Only One That Never Knew ____!
Posted: 2013-03-07 10:52 AMI'm the only one who didn't know Keith Urban was Australian until he spoke on TV.
That Santa in "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus" was...See Full Post
I Can't Believe I Saw...
Posted: 2013-03-06 10:30 AMA 6'3" man wearing cammo, sporting an awesome mullet, walking down the road with three chihuahuas wearing tutus.
I saw an actual sheep walking down...See Full Post