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People Hate Me Because

Posted: 2013-08-09 09:31 AM
People hate me because after having 2 kids I left the hospital wearing my normal size 6 jeans. I gained 30 pounds with each child but after giving birth it just fell off.

My readiness to give "constructive criticism"

I'm angry, opinionated, stubborn, and I don't smell very nice.

I'm a nutrition major and I point out the flaws in all my friends' diets and count calories for them.

I drive an Audi r8... the car from Iron Man.

I never shut up, and I know EVERYTHING!

People don't like me because I have a lazy eye and people never know which eye to look at when speaking to me.

I repeat myself until I am acknowledged by all in the conversation.

I hate small talk so I make conversations as awkward as possible as fast as possible so people side shuffle away from me.

My friends get mad at me because I'm not afraid to tell them their babies are ugly! Why lie?

My massive melons. They get more attention clothed than my friends do naked.

I use my words to verbally slap my fellow colleagues, leaving raw, abraded, red marks on their souls. Recreationally.

Because, according to my friends, I'm a "habitual line stepper".

People think I'm too upbeat too often. My friends nicknamed me Little Miss F'ing Sunshine. In my defense, I think I've become more cynical and sour over time.

People hate me because, like Whip, I always follow the rules. I like when other people get caught after breaking the rules.

A lot of people don't really like me because I have an obsession with looking at peoples butts. Not to check them out, but to spot wedgies!

I text way too many emoticons like smiley faces, winky faces, and hearts.

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