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The Embarrassing Thing About My Ex...

Posted: 2013-08-28 08:59 AM
My ex boyfriend used to reenact WWE wrestling matches with his friends and
video tape them.... they would try to get the girlfriends involved too.

My ex would poop in his pants on a regular basis because he was too lazy to get up and use the bathroom.

He shaves his legs.

My ex had webbed toes and wanted me to play with them sexually.

He was a man's man, but he used to sit down to pee like a girl!

My ex would beg me to trim and wax his back and butt crack hair.

Once he sneezed, pooped, and threw up all at once after a night of drinking.

He would only take baths, not showers and wanted me to help wash him all the time.

He was a tough tattooed rocker, but needed to be the little spoon every time
we cuddled!

My ex husband used to eat jarred baby food regularly. He was in his 20's.

He used to make his penis talk like a puppet to try and make me want to get
intimate when I was cranky.

My ex never cut his toe nails and he would they would scratch my legs in bed at night. He has now cleaned himself up to impress other women which really pisses me off.

He'd shadow box naked in the mirror after "doing it" like Rocky.

He called me by HIS SISTER's name while doing the horizontal tango.

He started crying the first time we had sex because it was so "beautiful".

My ex was my first. After we were done, he said "I'm not actually as good in bed as you might think." Yeah, no duh!

My ex would hide his porn on our computer under files like "Art portfolio" or
"Family Pics" and actually be shocked when I found it all.

His nickname was Captain Hook...

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