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Your Weekend Drama in One Sentence

Posted: 2013-09-09 09:38 AM
My poor dog got sprayed by a skunk right before bed.

The new guy I'm dating who got so drunk at my family party that he peed the
couch in his sleep!

My sister called me a "f***ing suburbanite".

Ugh...lice removal from three kids.

While moonwalking I fell and shattered my wrist.

I woke up with bed bugs in the Dells.

When my fantasy team, Get Off My Ditka, lost to my best friend's team,
50 Shades of Cutler.

My son dialed 911 because I took the Xbox away as punishment.

My boyfriend got mad because I got drunk at the Bears game and barely paid
attention to the game.

We threw a friend a Welcome Home Party and he didn't show up!

I pooped my pants during a company softball game.

I ran my husband's monthly train ticket through the wash.

We almost got arrested for skinny dipping in Lake Geneva.

I found out my co-worker is dating my ex wife.

Our dog blew out his anal gland leading to a catastrophic stench in the house.

My daughter's soccer team sucks.

My wife drank too much and walked out of the house naked.

Our TV caught on fire just before the Bears game.

I projectile vomited on my boyfriend while we were doin' it.

I walked in on my mother-in-law sitting on the toilet.

She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having doing it
with some fat dude.

My boss invited me to McDonalds, bought me a Big Mac and promptly fired me.




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