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I Had to Stop Dating Him/Her Because...

Posted: 2013-09-10 09:34 AM
...I found the used condoms under his bed that weren't from us.

I had to stop dating her cause she liked to carry out full conversations with my pets.

We went to play basketball and he shot overhead like an elementary school girl!

I had to stop dating her because after a week she had alphabetized my shirts by team name and color.

She had dinosaur breath that just wouldn't quit.

I had to stop dating him because his body odor was so atrocious that I had to
pre-warn friends and apologize to strangers.

I had to stop dating her because she said her brother's name while we were
being intimate.

I had to stop dating her because she shared a toothbrush with her dad.

I stopped dating her because she collected her clipped toenails to compare
color from month to month.

Had to stop dating because she invited me to meet her parents at the family's
annual squirrel fry in southern Illinois.

Living room wall full of Elvis collector plates.

I had to break up with him because he had to sleep with his "Woobie" every night. He was 28.

I had to stop dating him because, on our second date, he showed me "art" photos of himself: nude and "at attention."

I woke up to her licking honey off my toes in the middle of the night.

Because he wore those tiny socks that are meant for girls who wear flats.

I had to stop dating because at the drive thru he rolled down the window on my side of the car and spit his gum out across in front of me and out my window.

He wore thong underwear regularly.

I met his sister & she looked exactly like me!

Because they ugly as hell.

My boyfriend would affectionately twirl my hair and I loved it, but then I saw him do the same thing to his mom.

Because he was into taxidermy and his house was full of animals... Even a large deer head over the bed.




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