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What does your significant other keep saying about his/her ex?

Posted: 2013-09-25 10:12 AM
My husband always talks about his ex the professional ballerina. Let's just say my body type and grace level could not be further from that of a ballerina.

All the weird places they've had sex. For example, a playground.

He talks about how flexible his ex was all the time!

How thankful he is that she is fat now since she cheated on him.

Always talks about how his ex laid down like a dead fish during sex.

That she had big boobs, but they hung low.

My boyfriend loves talking about their past vacations referring to his ex as his
"travel partner" like I don't know who the hell he's talking about!

"If I wanted a girlfriend with big boobs, I'd still be with my ex."

The fabulous family, who he hated, that took him on amazing vacations.

How she liked doing it from the back door!

How she was ALWAYS ready for THAT. And how quickly she would have the blue ribbon moment. I thought he was full of it until his friends confirmed it.

That it took him awhile to get used to her face.

My husband will always remind me that his college girlfriend would take out his contact lenses for him after a night of drinking, and them asks me why I don't do the same for him.

He says, "I cheated on my ex because she couldn't give me what I needed
hint hint better take care of your man."

Every time I suggest a place for dinner he has to tell me about a date he went
on there.

My ex kept trying to get me to groom like his ex wife "down there"- because
"that's what I got used to!" Next!

His ex threw out his bicycle that he built after they called the quits. Homeboy is still hung up on that.

He always talked about "how European she was."

I could really care less that your ex was the badger mascot for University of

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