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You Won't Believe What I Got Away With...

Posted: 2013-10-10 09:55 AM
I got away with sexting my wife's best friend.

I got away with having sex on the 50 yard line of my high school football field.

I wanted a puppy so bad so I told my husband it was free, but I paid $300 for her! He still doesn't know.

I smuggled two illegal turtles onto an airplane... In my pants.

I told my wife and kids I had a work trip, but I went to Vegas! I went up $1500 and it's all mine!

I got away with doing it on a hay ride that was full of people...I had a skirt on and sat on my boyfriend's lap.. hay rides are bouncy.

Can't believe we got away with- A Wrigley Field employee tapped an ice cold keg and walked away from it. We drank it for 5 innings straight!

I tried to withdraw $400 from an ATM, and it spit out $4,000, but didn't affect my account at all!

I slept with my teacher...while he was married. No one found out, but I got to cross it off my bucket list!

I went back to school to get my masters degree, but I did all of my homework and wrote papers while at work!

I got into a fender bender while playing on my phone in traffic. I convinced the police that the girl behind me caused the accident. She got a ticket and I got a new bumper!

I dumped bubble bath into the fountain at Woodfield. They had to close that section of the mall for hours.

I fully peed my pants in white jeans on a first date!

I did it in the produce closet while volunteering at the food pantry!

I had breakfast, lunch and dinner dates with 3 different guys on the same day!

I pretended I was allergic to chlorine all through high school so I'd never have to take the swimming unit in gym class!

I had nooky on an IKEA bed while shoppers shopped!

Big O at dinner table with friends. Toy in place, boyfriend controlling remote.
Whew! I can't believe I got away with it!

Using bleach to kill grass, my friends and I drew a 70ft penis in the outfield of our high school's baseball field.




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