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I Will NEVER Do This For My Significant Other

Posted: 2013-10-11 09:49 AM
I will never watch another cowboy movie, army movie or Godfather movie.

We have 2 dogs, a cat, a ferret, and a turtle. I'm drawing the line on pets!

I will NOT pop his zits on his hairy back.

I will not clean up the pile of dead skin he picks from his psoriasis and leaves on the end table next to the couch.

I will NOT lick my wife's toes. No matter how many times she asks!

I will not enter another bikini contest just so he can drink free all day!

No matter how many times he suggests it, I will not let his mom teach me the
'proper' way to cook for him.

I won't go to the train museum AGAIN. Three times in one month is my limit.

I will NOT let him enter through the back door. NO WAY!

I'm okay if he goes hunting. But I will not allow him to put the head of the buck that he shot in our entryway or anywhere in the house.

I won't pretend that I like hanging out with her college girlfriends....even though some of them are pretty hot.

I will not keep sharing your stupid company contests on my Facebook page.

My husband wants me to get a fun tattoo above my woo hoo that says "Paul's Place". I will NEVER do it!

I will not listen to another explanation on why prime numbers are so fascinating.

Will not have your drunken ass friend Mike over to the house again....ever.

I will NOT spend our first wedding anniversary at the Bears game.

I will NOT clean his belly button lint from the shower drain anymore!

I will not smell your fart to see how "bad this smells!"

I will let you put up a stripper pole "for me" in our bedroom!

I won't run to the mall with you "real quick"... For 4 hours, Sunday afternoon
while the bears are playing.

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