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The Skeleton in your Closet

Posted: 2013-10-25 09:39 AM
No one knows that I stuffed my bra with socks all through high school and college, until the one day I got "busted" on a date and earned the nickname "stuffalupagus."

My skeleton in the closet is my Uncle Johnny. I have his ashes in a shelf in my
closet. I was supposed to bury him next to my aunt 10 years ago and never
got around to it.

I have shoplifted over 400 dollars worth of candy.

My best friend's ex and I HATE each other and one day we were in the middle
of a bad argument and he kissed me. Turned out to be incredibly awesome sex.

I've been dating a coworker for the last 3 months who is 20 years older than me and in the middle of a divorce, NO ONE at work has any idea.
It's not so much a skeleton, but I have a full-sized, 6ft male mannequin named Jake in my closet. And yes, he is anatomically correct.

I haven't told my boyfriend yet, but I am still legally married.

I slept with my best friend's husband 5 times and even gave him some action at their wedding reception. She has no idea.

My "mom" is actually my grandma and my "sister" is actually my mother.

I've never had the Blue Ribbon Moment. I've been with my guy for 4 years and
others before him. I've faked it my entire life.

I didn't actually graduate college, but everyone thinks I did and I'm the marketing director for a pretty decent sized company.

I've cheated on my husband... like a lot.

I still suck my thumb. I'm 28 : (

My husband has no clue that I got a nose job before we met.

I slept with my math teacher in high school.

I used my wife's Coach purse for a prank involving dog poop, an M80, and
my friend's car. She still thinks she lost the purse.

I have what Oprah called " the Cadillac of female toys" hidden in he back of my closet and always thought God forbid something should happen to me where my sons have to go through my belongings and come across the caddy! What hell would they think of their mother?

When my wife was in labor with our first child, I made a few cell phone calls whenthe nurse left the room. The heart monitoring machine going off, so they had to give her an emergency c-section. After the birth the nurse saw me on my phone and told me thatís the reason the heart monitor was going off. Whoops.

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