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Your Big Family Secret

Posted: 2013-11-15 10:39 AM
My Grandmother has been dealing weed for 30 years.

My dad is adopted. We accidentally found the paperwork and no one wants to tell my grandma (his mom) that we all know her secret.

I accidentally lost grandma's cat. Replaced it with a new one without telling anyone.

My little sister is really my daughter. I was very young when I got pregnancy.

My mother thought would be best to adopt her and raise my daughter as hers.

My family secret is that we are direct descendants of John Wilkes Booth...

My cousin is in jail for helping murder her ex-husband.

My sister was working as a stripper and my father had no idea, until he happened to go there with some clients!

My aunt extorted close to $200K from our family business. We didn't prosecute, just fired her and kept it a secret from everyone.

When my father died, my mom did not publish his obit. She thought that he
probably had a number of illegitimate kids and mistresses that she didn't
want showing up looking for a handout!!

We wanted my sister to start dating so we found a guy on Craigslist and set her up with him. We told her that he was someone my dad worked with. They're now married and she has no idea!

My sister is a professional dominatrix. No one knows.

In my family, we "replace" dogs when they pass. Until adulthood, kids in the family think dogs live for 20-30 years before they catch on. We've done this for generations.

My parents work in the same office and pretend to be brother & sister instead
of husband & wife. No one knows, but our family.

My dad has four girls and every Christmas morning he makes us wear footie
pajamas if we want to open presents. Our ages now range between 25 and 35, and we still have to wear the footie PJS. We never have pictures Christmas morning.

My Uncle Greg used to be my Aunt Ginny...

My family doesn't know my husband of 10 years was previously married and I
was the other woman!

My brother spent 11 years in jail from 17-28, but we tell everybody that he just moved to California and when he got out we told everyone he moved back home.

We are the ones who accidentally let the burglar into the building, not the old
woman on the first floor we let everyone blame.

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