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I'll admit it...

Posted: 2013-12-10 14:26 PM
I got laser hair removal on my face.

I trim the bush to make the tree look taller.

I had that laser tightening surgery for a certain area south of the border.

I did it with my brother's wife.

I admit that I have Miley Cyrus and Meat Loaf on my ipod.

I often take buttons off of clothes that I want to buy in the store to see if the
manager will give me a store discount.

I'm the one that set the dumpster on fire at work, not the guy from the auto parts store next door that got blamed for it.

I broke wind in a store and let a little kid take the fall for it. His mom screamed at him for pooping his pants. I just walked away.

I got into a skateboarding accident as a teenager and the board popped up hitting my wahoo. I needed to get corrective plastic surgery nobody knows this happened and I have yet to tell anyone even my boyfriend of years.

When I broke my wrist last year I told everyone I fell on the ice outside, I admit that I actually fell off the stripper pole during a class because at 50 years of age I was embarrassed.

My husband and I stripped down naked at The Ritz Carlton Maui did it in their jacuzzi and we weren't even staying there!

I admit it. I got very drunk and pooped on my neighbor's doorstep.

On our senior year trip to Dominican Republic we poured out the bottled water in our chaperone's room and replaced it with tap water. She was sick the entire time.

I'm a pharmacist. I was so annoyed with a patient's attitude towards me that I told him we were out of his medication and couldn't fill his prescription just so he'd leave.

I admit that I spend more time daydreaming about Justin Bieber than anything else in the span of my day. Oh yeah, I'm 27...

I read the obituaries every day to see if my ex has died yet.

I want to admit that I've been stealing my roomate's girlfriend's underwear for the past 4 weeks. She's just so hot.

I'll admit it: I watch "Days of Our Lives" everyday. I'm a 34 year old married man.

I accidentally found out I was adopted, but I've never told my mom I know.

I admit that I've been the one going to the bathroom in my boss' bathroom and not flushing for the last four months. He thinks it's the maintenance man.

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