The Memory I Want to Erase...
Posted: 2014-01-29 09:54 AMI would like to forget the time I went to Florida when I was 18 and pooped my
pants from drinking too much Captain Morgan.
Accidentally seeing my Mom's 330 pound boyfriend butt naked. Still scarred ten years later.
Seeing my husband's aunt accidentally running over her son's hamster with her Wheel chair on Christmas.
Going to the Sox game with new coworkers, getting so drunk and dropping my pants to pop a squat to take a pee outside the car in the parking lot.
The video from birthing class.
I'd like to forget the full body wax before my wedding day.
At my brother's wedding, on the DJ's mic, I called his new wife by the name of hisex wife. Even better... the new wife's family didn't know he had been married once before.
My boyfriend at the time sent me a picture of his business.... my mom found it on my phone. 10 years later she still reminds me of it.
In high school I fell asleep in class and when I was awoken by the bell I stood up and realized I was standing at full attention and the whole class saw.
I picked up my prom date and I had to use the bathroom at her house, but I
clogged the toilet. I was so embarrassed I tried to fix it myself with my hands and her parents opened the door while I was working on it because of the noise I was making.
Wish I could take back going to the Kanye West concert because he's just a huge d-bag.
I'd like to erase when I found my college boyfriend's infomercial penis enlargement pills which, I can assure you, were ineffective. We never had sex again.
I walked in on my sister and her then-boyfriend butt naked except their privates were covered in whipped cream! I still can't eat whipped cream to this day.
I'd like to erase memory of the full frontal picture I found of my mother in nothing but a fur coat when I was 14.
Years ago I decided to visit my mom unannounced. I walked in and she was hunched over clutching the countertop with one hand and I heard a distinct buzzing sound.
I turned around and walked out before she saw me.
My father in law had a rash, dropped pants and pulled his underwear up to show me. More ass than anyone should see.
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