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I got so drunk on my first date...

Posted: 2014-04-14 09:42 AM
I fell asleep in the shower with the water running.

I threw up in his car on the ride home!

My phone got stolen by a stripper.

I passed out on his bathroom floor because it was & cold.

I ended up getting sick-- went to the bathroom thinking I was being slick. I came back out apparently covered with puke stains. No 2nd date for me... And no goodnight kiss.

I went to use the bathroom and forgot to unzip. I told her the faucet sprayed
my pants... she didn't believe me.

On our first date, my boyfriend and I got so drunk that we couldn't drive
home after we closed the bar. So we made out in his car for hours to sober up. I had bruised lips in the morning!

I got drunk passed out and woke up peeing on her elderly grandmother's bed
in the next room.

I forgot to shave my legs and decided that after all I would need them shaved
by the end or the night. When we got back to his place I went to the bathroom
and shaved my legs real quick with his razor, but I cut my shin and it wouldn't
stop bleeding! Didn't end up getting lucky.

My date and I were at a party and I got drunk and made out with some other girl. The other girl ended up being my sister, but we were too drunk to realize it.

When out with a guy and got really drunk. We went home to order food and when I woke up the next morning, I was alone, but there was a burger and fries in the bed.

I vomited all over his vintage Mercedes.

In the middle of passionately kissing I said, "Oh, God! I"ve always wanted you
Danny." Problem? His name was Tim.

We walked thru a drive thru McDonald's, ordered a happy meal and demanded to meet Ronald and wasn't leaving until I met him.

I was dating my now wife at the time and she was so drunk she passed out in my car and locked the doors. I knocked on the window for her to let me in. She thought there was a little man inside of the glove box and kept opening the glove box looking for the little man, then would pass back out.

I was so drunk when I got home, I accidently brushed my teeth with A&D Diaper Rash ointment!

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