My friend is crazy because...
Posted: 2014-04-18 09:40 AMI have a friend who licks the wine bottle cork instead of smelling it when
the waiter hands it to her. So embarrassing.
Our best couple friends got us drunk and seduced us into swinging with them.
She got in a fist fight with a girl in the bathroom over the fact that the other girl missed the garbage and the paper towel fell to the floor and didn't pick it up. She's always telling people, perfect strangers, what they should be doing, eating, drinking, etc... Ugh
My friend at work is the nicest person I know. She stops on her way to work and asks children walking if they need a ride to school... usually in the winter, but that's weird, right?
My friend loves the feeling of freshly buzzed hair so when we were in college
we would get drunk and she would bring an electric razor in her purse and
convince guys to let her buzz their hair so she can rub their heads.
When my friend and I go shopping, she talks to the mannequins saying things like "oh you fancy, huh?" Or "you are not cute in that outfit".
She lives in the city and has 3 pet piglets.
My girlfriend calls her man "husband" and he calls her "mama" only. They are
not married. They do not have kids.
Every time she gets really angry with her in-laws she takes something from
their house and then sells it on eBay.
My friend likes to take pictures of his manhood next to things in your house
and text them to you the next day. Everything is fair game including baby
Jesus at Christmas.
She carries her own silverware in her purse. Refuses to ever use the restaurant's silverware.
I was at the beach during spring break and got stung by a jellyfish. My best
friend said he should pee on it to make it heal, so I started to run and he
chased me down, tackled me, and peed on my in front of about 50 people.
I love my best friend to death, but every time we make plans to spend time
together by the end of the night she ends up crying over her ex-boyfriend
from 20 years ago.
For fun, my best friend (who I can't stand) buys chicken nuggets and throws them at people while driving around.
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